Page 186
“I’m here, baby. Look. Open your eyes. I’m here.” Tears blur my vision as I drag off my t-shirt, hands shaking as I tear it apart and wrap the fabric around her wrists, pressing hard, desperate for the bleeding to stop, but the white soaks through almost instantly, blooming red in seconds.
The sight makes my stomach twist, because all I can think about is years ago—her red scarf in my hands as she tore it apart to stop my tears.
Now it’s me tearing the fabric, only this time the red isn’t the cloth—it’s her blood, and I don’t know how to stop it.
If I had known it would come to this, that I’d be here, on my knees, begging her not to leave me. I would have chosen death over ever living long enough to see this moment.
I’d take being five again, sitting on those stairs, waiting for my mama who never came, over this, because back then, there was nothing I could do.
Now there is. And I’m still losing—
No. I’m not losing her.
“P-pl…please.” I gasp. “Stay with me. You have to stay.”
I gather her into my arms, forcing myself up from the ground.
“Baby, open your eyes. I’ll make the pain go away. I promise. I—Just open your eyes, please.” She doesn’t fold into me like she always does, doesn’t tuck her face into my shoulder. Her head falls back, limp and lifeless.
“No—no, no, no…” I stagger forward, my foot almost slipping as I step straight into the pool of her blood.
“You have to stay for me.” I choke out, the words breaking apart between sobs. “Do you hear me? You don’t get to leave.”
My vision blurs as I move, shouting for help, over and over until my voice turns hoarse, until it doesn’t even sound like mine anymore.
“Help! Someone, help me!” I don’t remember the sound of footsteps rushing in, I don’t remember when they take her from my arms, only that I’m suddenly empty.
“Careful. She’s in pain. My baby is hurting.” I whisper, hands hovering as they lay her down, terrified even their touch might hurt her.
“Please don’t leave me.” Please stay.
I don’t want to live alone anymore. Please stay for me.
God, if she’s dying, I’m going with her. Because this is my limit.
FORTY-FOUR
Sergei
Happiness.
Something I had only ever known of, until she came into my life and became the only reason I felt it at all.
Love.
I didn’t know its true meaning until she redefined it, turned a word I once despised, a four-letter symbol of pain, into a consuming need I cannot live without.
Despair.
A hollow, suffocating emptiness that consumes me now, as I wait outside with my hands and chest drenched in her blood—far too much of it.
Fear.
A crippling force that tightens around my chest, stealing the air from my lungs, making my body tremble and my eyes burn with tears.
She killed my demons, she sacrificed herself just to save me, she offered herself to my father to save me and this is how I pay her back?
Alec and Alina cannot meet my eyes. They have no answers for where they were when Elara was taken by the same man who tortured me eleven years ago.