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“That was the only option, Sergei.” My voice is just as low. “I didn’t want h-his touch. He threatened to kill you if I stayed, you—and then your father kidnapped—” and tried to rape me.
I would’ve let him. I was ruined already, the least I could do was save Sergei.
“Do you not trust me, Elara?” He finally looks up, his eyes are red, burning with the tears he’s holding back.
“I didn’t want you to get hurt—”
“What is hurt, Elara?” His voice rises abruptly causing me to move back. “I’ll tell you. Hurt is hearing lies about being loved only to get abandoned. Hurt is crawling to a letter that has your death sentence written inside it. Hurt is finding you bleeding on the floor. Hurt is watching it all happen…And still wondering why my heart keeps beating. How the fuck can it still beat when my life is dying in my arms?”
“Sergei.”
“T-that’s hurt.” He yells again.
“Stop shouting.” I argue. “If history repeats itself, I’ll choose the same path.” I retort, just as loud.
He stumbles back as if I’ve physically struck him, moving away from the bed and stands in front of me.
“What did you just say?” His hands on his waist, a murderous expression on his face.
“If your father was alive and me getting raped was the only option to save you—”
“Stop. Fucking. Talking.” He leans forward, his eyes turning glossy yet his shoulders remain tense. His biceps bulging as he clenches and unclenches his fist.
“Stop. Fucking. Shouting.” I stand on my knees, the mattress sinking beneath my weight as I look him in the eyes. “I said I love you and I meant it. You don’t get to tell me what I should do with my life.”
He glares; he’s fucking livid but I’m fuming too. “But I do. You’re mine.”
“You’re mine too.” I push him, my hands landing on his chest, he lifts his hands to grab my wrists but then decides against it.
“You’re not dying to save me.”
“I totally would.”
“Elara.”
“Sergei.”
“Stop it.”
“I’ll invite death—”
His arms engulf me and once again, I’m met with his warmth and a small smile appears on my face before I hear him sniffle. “I almost lost you twice, don’t fucking talk about death.”
There’s rage, but there’s so much fear too, his dreadful voice is unlike I’ve heard before.
He didn’t sound this heartbroken even when he told me about his mother all those years ago.
“I cannot lose you, Elara. I cannot.” He chants. “I cannot live without you.” His head is hidden in the crook of my neck as he snuggles closer, wet tears dripping down his eyes and landing on my shoulder. “Please, do not talk about death.”
“Sergei…”
“Please, I won’t survive it, there’s no me without you. I…” he breathes. “I love you.”
I rear back, unable to believe it, my green clashes with his glossy brown eyes, his nod answering all my questions.
“I love you.” He confesses again and I chuckle.
He loves me.
