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Elara
Istorm down the stairs, sleep in my eyes as I rush to find Sergei.
The Swan plays faintly in the background as Sergei cooks, the sweet melody filtering around the room like smoke.
My arms wrap around him firmly, my nose digging into his back as I take a huge inhale of his scent in. I had another dream last night, of him jumping after me.
The memory always prompts me to cry, leaving me in tears.
“Good morning, solnyshko.” He chuckles lightly, my hands slide upward until my palm rests over his heart and I listen to its steady rhythm.
The most beautiful melody I’ve ever known.
“Good morning, Mishka.” I snuggle closer as his hand rests on top of mine.
“Did you have a bad dream again?” He asks cautiously and I nod.
“I remember.” I whisper in a low, almost terrified voice.
He all but stills beneath my touch.
“I’m sorry—”
“Elara.” He gulps, his chest heaving beneath my touch.
I hug him tightly, snuggling closer, channelling the emotions through the contact.
“I’ll never leave you.” I promise, my words final and full of determination. “I’m sorry, Sergei. I didn’t know.” I kiss his shoulders, lifting on my toes.
“Fuck.” He groans loudly, his hand coming over to rub his face as his shoulders shake.
He’s deflecting.
Trying to wrestle his emotions back under control. “You remember my ugly crying face too?”
“You’re never ugly, Sergei.” I correct him.
He almost lost his life because he’s too beautiful. But I don’t say that.
“D-do you miss…do you miss your mother?” I ask carefully, afraid he’ll shut down completely, but to my surprise, he simply shakes his head.
“Weirdly enough, I don’t.” He turns away. “It’s hard to miss someone who was never really there to begin with.”
“It’s okay to miss her.” I tell him but he’s shaking his head again. “She left you and you’re allowed to mourn the loss—”
“She didn’t leave me, malyshka. She just tried to run away from my father.” He doesn’t raise his voice; in fact, he barely shows any emotion as he speaks.
“Sergei.”
“Elara. I don’t miss her.” He sighs and holds my hands. “I don’t hate her for choosing herself, maybe she stayed with my father because of me for so long.”
“But—”
“I no longer care, Elara.” He interrupts softly. “I don’t care what happened in the past because it led me here.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, his warmth wrapping around me completely.
“Because you’re my end goal. A life with you is all I want, and I’m not foolish for choosing to move past my pain if it means I get a future with you.” His thumb brushes against my cheek gently. “It really is that simple.”
“Mishka.”
