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Slow Burn Romance

Page 81

by Kathryn Le Veque

“English?” she said.

“Aye?”

She looked up at him then, her eyes focusing on his soft lips and his beautiful eyes. “What would ye say if I told ye I fancied myself in love with ye?”

His smiled faded and his eyes widened. Jordan tried to gage his reaction but she was quickly becoming frightened. She had the most horrible fear that he was going to leave and never speak to her again. Sweet Jesu,’ what had she been thinking to confess that? Her boldness and her giddiness suddenly vanished and was replaced by utter humiliation. She felt his grip on her tighten.

“Do you realize what you are saying?” he rasped.

“Aye,” she replied uncertainly. She knew she must apologize for her rashness and tried to form the pretty words, but instead she slid in the opposite direction and found herself spilling out the rest of her admission. “Aye, I do, and I am sorry that ye dunna feel the same way. Ye have been so kind to me and I dunna want to make ye uncomfortable. I shouldna had said anything. I dunna know what possessed me.”

He looked completely incredulous and she was thoroughly confused. So far he hadn’t leaned one way or the other and she didn’t know what degree of embarrassment to succumb to. She wished he would let her go so she could throw herself out the window.

“Jordan… I am overwhelmed,” he said simply.

She pulled back from him, averting her gaze. “I can see that.”

He pulled her back to him earnestly. “ ’Tis not what those are thinking,” he hastened to reassure her. “ ’Tis not a question as to whether or not I love you, but you are to be the earl’s wife. I will not deceive him by carrying on with you.”

Stung, she pulled away from him and everything about the situation angered her. Damn him; she had not reached her conclusion without his help and encouragement.

“Ye already told me I had yer heart,” she said, agitated. “Ye have kissed me twice now, passionately I might add, and now ye stand here holding me as if I were yer own. Was I misinterpreting ye, English? I thought ye wanted me, which is why I….”

She broke off, confused and ashamed. William watched her, verging on an emotional tirade, but forced himself to calm. He ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture; of course he gave her that impression because it was the truth. He was being violently torn in two by his loyalties to his liege and his feelings for her.

“I do want you,” he said quietly. “I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, but it has been wrong of me to mislead you, Jordan. I guess I am just a selfish man at heart. I suppose I simply wanted a taste of something that could never be, something that will stay in my memory for always.”

She wasn’t going to let him get away. She loved him and she wanted him, and even though she was compromising his integrity, she meant to have him. Her only hope was that he would not end up hating her and himself. He was already weakened by the sight of her; mayhap she could weaken him more. She’d never wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted him.

“I shall give ye more than a taste,” she whispered.

She was facing him a mere few feet away. He looked tired, defeated, and sad. Reaching up, she untied the sash that closed her robe, and in one swift movement, in one fragmented second, the robe was in a soft pile at the base of her very naked, very beautiful body.

William could only stare in open astonishment. She was absolutely perfect in every way. He knew his mouth was hanging open and he quickly closed it, knowing he had to get the hell out of the chamber or he would be a dead man. She was so willing and so naive, and it was too much to ask of him to be strong for the both of them. He bolted up from the arm of the chair and turned rapidly for the door.

“English?” Her voice reached him like a caress.

He stopped but he did not turn around. “What?”

“I dunna want ye to leave.”

“I must,” his voice was tight.

She walked over to him and embraced him, her front to his taut back. Her hands trailed up and down his massive arms.

“Nay, English,” she whispered. “Stay. I dunna want to sleep alone tonight. Will ye stay and hold me?”

He shut his eyes tightly, fighting off his desire to whip her into his arms and pound into her until he found his release and then some.

“Nay,” he replied. “Do not ask me again.”

Undaunted, she moved in front of him, blocking the door. She knew she was being wanton and reckless, but she felt no embarrassment. She pressed up against him, knowing he wanted her as badly as she wanted him; she could see it in his eyes.

“Then dunna deny me and I wunna have to ask again,” she replied softly.

He looked her in the eye. “If I stay then I can guarantee that you would not go to the earl a virgin bride,” he tried to sound stern. “Get out of my way.”

“I dunna want to give my virginity to the earl; I want to give it to ye,” she said, then put her head against his hard chest. “Say that ye want me, English.”