City Girl for the Cowboy Daddy
Page 75
I’d told the family it was so the summer hands would have somebody on site. Nobody had asked a second question, which told me they’d all worked out the real answer — that Boone had Josie and a lit window across the yard, and I’d started finding the main house loud in a way that had nothing to do with noise.
I’d been sleeping on a mattress on the floor with my rodeo buckle on a nail and a hot plate balanced on a crate, and I hadn’t fixed any of it because fixing it for one person hadn’t seemed worth the effort. The bunkhouse was temporary. I was temporary. The room I lived in was a placeholder for a life I hadn’t built yet, and I’d been treating it that way.
Now I’d built a room for someone else in an afternoon, and every piece of it — the swept floor, the bed frame, the lamp, the towel, the glass of water — was better than anything I’d given myself.
I stood in the doorway and thought about that for a while.
Boone came through the yard at four-thirty, carrying a bucket of calf supplement toward the lower pens. He stopped when he saw the mattress leaning against the bunkhouse wall. He looked at it. He looked at the bunkhouse door, which was open, and through it at the back room, where the lamp was on and the bed was made.
He looked at me.
I waited for the sentence. One sentence. Six words, maybe seven. Boone could fit a whole judgment into four.
He nodded once.
He picked up the bucket and kept walking.
I went back inside and adjusted the lamp shade by a quarter inch, because it was crooked and she’d notice.
***
I’d gone to bed at eleven and lain there listening.
A door ten feet away. Water running in the sink. The creak of the bed frame taking her weight, the click of the lamp, the small sounds of a woman settling into a room that hadn’t existed yesterday.
Four days ago I hadn’t known her name.
Today I’d built her a bed and adjusted a lampshade a quarter inch because she’d notice, and now she was breathing on the other side of a wall I’d swept myself, and I lay in the dark with my eyes open and understood that I was in trouble.
I didn’t need anything at two in the morning.
The bunkhouse was dark. The stove had burned down to coals hours ago, and the main room held only the low glow of the banked fire through the iron grate. My mattress was on the floor ten feet from the door, my rodeo buckle hung on its nail, and the truck key sat on the crate where I’d left it.
I was awake because the light was on.
Not my light. The table lamp. She’d turned it on after I’d gone to bed, and the thin line of it under the door had been there when I closed my eyes, and it was still there now, two hours later, steady and yellow and wrong.
I got up.
The floor was cold through my socks. I pulled on a flannel — not the clean one, the one draped over the crate — and walked to the main room barefoot, because boots at two in the morning would’ve been a declaration and I wasn’t ready to declare anything.
She was at the table.
The lamp cast a circle of warm light that reached the graph paper, the clipboard, three pages of notes, her phone face-up beside them, and the smartwatch on her wrist throwing its own small glow. The coffee I’d made at dinner sat beside her elbow, untouched and cold, a skin of cream formed on the surface.
She didn’t hear me.
Her pen moved. Small, precise strokes, the same handwriting I’d watched all day — the morning’s site plan, the afternoon’s list, the evening’s budget revision. She’d been at this table since after dinner — not that she ever really sat down to eat. Just a couple of mouthfuls and then she hurried back to work again.
Her hair had given up. It hung loose on both sides, no longer pushed behind one ear, and it fell across her face when she leaned forward. Her feet were bare under the table.
She reached for the phone. Read something. Set it down. Picked up the pen. Wrote. Put the pen down. Picked up the phone.
I walked to the table.
She didn’t look up until my hand was on the clipboard.
Then she looked up fast — the startle of someone who’d been so deep in the work that the room had disappeared, and the room coming back all at once. Her eyes were wide, dark, the shadows under them deeper than the makeup had ever covered. She’d taken the makeup off. Her face was bare and tired and younger than it had been all day.