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“Truthfully.”

“I’m thinking about how ridiculous the rite is.” She lifts herself out of my arms and props her weight on an elbow to get a better look at me. “The mortal kings breed hunters because they believe creatures are evil, murderous monsters and they need hunters to stop them, but you haven’t done anything monstrous to me.”

My eyes drift to her neck, fangs aching beneath my gums. It’s a miracle I haven’t lost control. “Yet.”

“Yet,” she echoes, a grin spreading across her kiss-swollen lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I don’t return her smile as I fling myself out of bed.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m something good, something moral. I am a monster.”

“You aren’t,” she argues, dark hair spilling over her shoulder like waves crashing against the Shore of the Damned.

Redressing in a blur of movement, I put distance between myself and the bed. Between myself and Rory. I pace in front of the hearth. The dying embers do little to warm the bedroom. Rory must be freezing. I snatch a metal prod and aggressively stoke the fire until it brightens.

Better.

I resume my pacing.

“Say something, Quill.” Her voice is whisper soft.

“I am a selfish, despicable monster for wanting you, for fucking you instead of taking this opportunity to help you escape this… prison.”

“Vampires attacked the East Quarter hoping to get to me, and I still welcomed you into my home, into my bed, into me, knowing what you are, what you came to Adelphi to do. You didn’t come here to rescue me, Quill, and I don’t fault you for that.” Rory scrambles to her knees as if she’s begging me to understand. I want to see her on her knees for another reason. Not this. Her heart slams against her ribs, the sound deafening. “If following a delicate thread of desire means you’re a monster, then I’m a monster too. The only difference is my heart’s still beating.”

“For now.”

She catapults herself out of bed and shoves me. Or tries to. I catch her wrists. There are tiny cuts there, crescent-shaped, as if someone clutched her too firmly, intentionally digging their nails into her skin. “You aren’t going to hurt me.”

I spit on my fingers and drag them over those marks. They heal instantly.

Rory shivers—from the rapid healing or barely contained rage or the coldness of the room, I cannot tell. Faster than she can track me, I whip around her and snatch the blanket from the paneled floor and cocoon her within it.

“Come with me, tiny monster,” I whisper into her ear from behind her, teeth tugging gently on her lobe. “Let’s leave this place. To hell with the ascension, to hell with this kingdom. Forsake it all and run away with me.”

She stands up straighter, lifting her chin as her glistening eyes meet mine over her shoulder. The quiet between us is sacred, swelling with hope, and it stretches for what has to be the longest moment of my entire existence. Then⁠—

“When do we leave?”

Chapter 11

RORY

I pinch my arm just to prove that I’m not dreaming. A bite of pain flares, and I grin into the shadows of my wardrobe as I toss another dress to the vampire promising me the future I’ve always longed for.

I’m actually doing this—choosing Quill, choosing freedom, choosing me.

This time, I’m going to make it to Wall Lilium and beyond.

“Your family’s grounds are warded, so we’ll need to hurry away from the property before we can myst to Carver’s house,” Quill says, folding and stuffing a gown into the pillowcase he’s decided to use as a makeshift bag.

He had been bewildered when I told him I didn’t own any luggage. The first and only time I traveled out of Adelphi was thirteen years ago, and both Vivvy’s and my belongings were stowed in her expensive trunk.

“Will it hurt?” I ask, flinging a pair of leather sandals onto the bed and stopping to glance at him over my shoulder. “Traveling through the myst?”

“Not at all. You’ll feel a tingling sensation all over, and a roaring in your ears, and then it’s over.” He picks up the shoes and grimaces. “These are falling apart at the seams. Actually”—he begins inspecting all the clothes I’ve tossed to him—“I will have your wardrobe stocked with far nicer clothing once we make it to the Shore of the Damned, tiny monster. Let us stop wasting time. Unless…” He frowns. “Are you having second thoughts?”