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“Jinx is gonna be okay,” he says. “Cutter said he’s gonna heal up in a matter of weeks.”

“You said he was shot, but how did it happen?”

“We went to look for Keene, like I told you we would. I tracked down his house, and we were covering different exits. He came out of the exit Jinx was covering. When he approached to ask a question, Keene freaked out, pulled a weapon and shot him in the shoulder.”

“I’m so sorry that happened, babe.”

“The worst part was comin’ around the building and seeing Keene tryin’ to finish the job. I had to drop him in order to save Jinx’s life. There wasn’t any other option. I did what I had to do.”

“Have you ever killed a person before? Or is this your first time?” He’s broken up about it, so I think it might be his first time. If so, he might have a hard time coping with it.

“No, this isn’t my first time. I was in the military and saw active duty. I feel shitty that this happened but not guilty. That asshole shouldn’t have shot first. If I hadn’t killed him, he would have killed Jinx. Brothers have each other’s backs. It’s part of our code. If anythin’, I feel guilty for draggin’ Jinx along for the ride this morning.”

Striker speaks plainly about it. It’s clear he considers this an unfortunate fact of life rather than something that bothers his conscience.

He adds, almost as an afterthought, “My club brothers are seein’ to the scene. They’ll clean up the mess we made. I mean to say the cleanup. That’s how we do things. You don’t need to worry about any part of what went down this mornin’.”

I just sit there listening to him. It’s overwhelming to think that Keene was so free with his gun. What if Striker and Jinx hadn’t gotten involved? This might have been the end they had in store for me.

“No, you have nothing to feel guilty about, babe. I’m the one who dragged you and your club into my mess of problems. This all tracks back to me.”

“What? No,” he says.

“It’s true, and I’m so sorry. If I’d seen this coming, I never would have hired you. I’d never want to trade my safety for yours or Jinx’s.” I blurt out what’s running through my mind without thinking. “God, you had to kill someone because of the fucked-up mess I got myself into by agreeing to testify against Vale.”

“Stop.” His voice is sharp and raised. He comes around and kneels down in front of me, taking my hands in his. He continues, “You don’t need to apologize for any of this. Let’s be honest. It’s not really your fault or mine that Jinx got shot or Keene died today. We should put the blame where it belongs, on the assholes trying to manipulate the system. Rich, powerful people move the rest of us around like pawns on a chessboard to get what they want. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s them.” His words come rough and fast, like he’s just had an epiphany and it’s fired him up.

“You haven’t done anything but react to all the bullshit the rest of us have thrown at you. I’m guilty as fuck for bein’ so blinded by my own emotional baggage three years ago that I called you a liar and accused you of things you never did. And after all of that, you allowed me to protect you.”

Reaching out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, his expression turns soft. “And you came to me last night and offered yourself to me, even though I didn’t deserve that little piece of heaven. You did it because you’re the most upstanding woman I ever met. So, no more apologizin’ for things that aren’t your fault, darlin’. I don’t think I can stand to hear the one innocent person in all this take the blame.”

“Conrad…”

“Striker. Call me Striker because I’m gonna strike fear in the hearts of every single person who ever tries to hurt you or your daughter.”

I need to tell him, and now is my moment. “About that,” I say, intending to blurt it out before something else gets in the way.

“I’m not done. I gotta say one more thing. I need to get it off my chest once and for all.” He gazes into my eyes as he speaks. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. And I’m not foolish enough to think a few weeks of treatin’ you right makes up for what I did. But God help me, Beth, I want your forgiveness anyway. I crave it more than anything.”

He stays there on his knees looking at me. The proudest, most guarded man I’ve ever known has opened up to me yet again.

Sitting there looking into his eyes, I see him for the man he truly is. I’m done fighting it. It’s not a matter of deciding to forgive him. It’s realizing that I already did somewhere along the way. I lean forward and cup his handsome face in my hands.

“I forgive you,” I tell him. “I mean it,” I say, because I don’t want him to have any doubt about it. “And I’m not saying it to make you feel better or because you crave it or because you had a really bad time of it this morning. I just realized that I forgave you somewhere along the way and didn’t even realize it. I’m just saying it out loud because we both need to hear it.”

For a moment he doesn’t say anything. Then he slides his arms around me and doesn’t let go for so long that I relax into his embrace. This is what’s been missing from my life all this time. It’s being in his arms, being held and loved and adored by him. I won’t let this thing that happened three years ago stand between us anymore.

“Thank you,” he finally whispers. “Beth, I thank you with everything I have.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You’ve earned it by being the change you wanted to see. I respect that about you.”

“You have no idea what this means to me.” He takes a deep breath and doesn’t let go.

Chapter 16

Beth

I’m excited because I’ve been invited to a spa day with other old ladies. It’s a special celebration for Tessa, which is what she wanted instead of a baby shower. She’s seven months pregnant, delightfully round and proud of her baby bump. She’s married to the club president and that makes her our club queen. Nothing is too good for her comfort. That’s why Jasper bankrolled a private spa day for all the old ladies. So far, it’s been amazing.