Page 52
He quietly cries into his knees for a moment before nodding.
My chest tightens painfully for him. “Do your parents know?”
He shakes his head, still hiding himself from me. “They suspect something. At least, my mom and Paige do. Dad makes comments about how I need to bulk up and get muscle.”
The memory of Mark’s reaction to my sexuality sends rage burning through me. “He doesn’t know you’re gay.”
Shilo peeks at me through his hair. “No. Paige told Mom, though…”
We sit in heavy silence, letting his words sink in. If his mom knows, I probably shouldn’t stay up here too long. She seems like an intelligent woman; she’ll put two and two together, but I don’t want to leave him yet.
Gesturing toward the toilet with my chin, I level him with a stern look. “What brought this on? You weren’t purging when I left for Florida.”
“Do you really need to ask that?” he snaps, taking me by surprise.
My lips tighten. “I already texted you with an apology.”
He scoffs, burying his face in his knees once again. “Apology not accepted. Now leave me alone.”
With a growl, I reach out and yank him against my chest, spreading my legs to make room. He squeaks—a noise I can’t get enough of—and I tilt his chin up.
“The reason I left in a hurry had nothing to do with your body, Shilo. If you haven’t noticed, I’m very attracted to it.” I roll my hips against his side, loving the way his skin flushes when he feels my arousal. “But this? What you’re doing? It isn’t healthy.”
“I fucking know that,” he shouts sharply. “I hear it enough from my therapist. I don’t need it from my boss, too. It’s…not something I can stop cold turkey, okay?”
His chest heaves as he avoids my gaze, and I exhale slowly before pressing his head against my shoulder. He stiffens when my fingers curl into his hair, massaging his scalp.
“Um, what are you doing?” he mumbles.
“Comforting you.”
There’s a beat of silence. “...Why?”
Good question.
A gruff laugh leaves my throat as I lightly pull his hair. “Stop being a brat and let it happen.”
My hand kneads his nape, the taut tendons loosening after a few moments. Shilo sighs softly, nearly melting into me as he buries his snotty face into my jacket, and I smack my lips in annoyance.
“Only you can have me sitting on a bathroom floor, using my three-thousand dollar suit as a tissue.”
He says something I don’t catch, though I’m fairly certain I heard the words pretentious asshole in there somewhere. We’ll have to have a discussion later about his filthy mouth. Actually, we’ll have to discuss a lot of things.
We sit in silence as I rub his neck, my free arm resting stiffly at my side. There’s an urge to wrap it around him, but I refrain, uncomfortable with physical affection. The fact that he’s leaning against me seems like enough. When his pet pops out to watch me, I fight to hold in a shudder.
“Is there a reason you only have one rat? Don’t they need friends?”
Shilo sighs, rubbing his rat’s head before the vermin disappears once again into his hood. “Master Splinter is a loner like me. He has aggression issues.”
“Hm.”
“Does your father know?” He blurts suddenly, and I glance down at him in question. “That you’re gay, I mean.”
“Yes.”
His face falls, like he was expecting something more. So I square my shoulders and concede, knowing what he’s really asking for.
“I never actually came out traditionally. In junior high, I’d bring home boys for some experimental fun, and he caught on pretty quickly. All he ever said was, ‘As long as you keep it quiet and still take a wife someday to carry on the family name, I don’t care what you do’. We never spoke about it again.”
