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Me:

What’s that supposed to mean? I know you, Ducky.

Ducky:

No you fucking don’t. Of course I want you and Hannah, Matty, but I don’t deserve to be your secret. I don’t deserve the title of ‘uncle’ and I definitely don’t deserve to be labeled as just the ‘best friend you’re in love with.’

My chest tightens as I read the text over and over.

I don’t understand. He knows he’s more than that to me… doesn’t he?

Hannah’s soft call from the other room pulls me out of my daze. Shoving my phone into my pocket, I head to her room. She’s curled up in the king-sized bed, looking so small, her lip wobbling as I turn on the lamp.

“What is it, jelly bean?”

“I miss Uncle Xed,” she whispers, her brown eyes filling with tears. My own start to sting as I sit on the edge of the bed and pull her into my arms.

“I know, baby. Me too.”

“Then why did he go away?” She sniffles, her tiny voice cracking. “He doesn’t love me?”

My chest cracks in two, and I press a kiss on her head. “Of course he does. Why would you think that?”

She gazes up at me, her watery eyes so heartbreakingly innocent. “He was sad. I don’t know what I did.”

“Oh, baby girl.” Scooting further onto the bed, I lay down beside her, holding her close. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Xed and I are just… going through something right now.”

“Like with Mommy?”

I shift uncomfortably. “Yes. And no. We aren’t speaking right now.”

“But why?”

Good question.

Blowing out a breath, I stare at the ceiling, searching for words. “Because Daddy messed up. I hurt Uncle Xed’s feelings, and now he’s upset with me.”

Her little fingers curl around mine. “So say sorry.”

If only it were that easy. “I’m trying really hard.”

She scrunches her nose at me. “Not hard enough.”

Her bluntness catches me off guard, and I cough out a surprised laugh. “You don’t think so?”

“Nope. ‘Member how you told me I have to mean it?”

“Yeah?”

With a shrug, she flops back down onto my chest. “You don’t mean it, and he can tell. You gotta mean it, Daddy.”

Those words crash into me hard, setting something off in my brain, and I reach for my phone to scan Xed’s texts again. My heart stutters when I spot one I missed.

Ducky:

I’m done killing myself trying to make you understand.

The air leaves the room as my chest tightens painfully, tears spilling over when his previous messages blur on the screen.