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“She’s, uh… out of it,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Child Protective Services was in there with the cops when I left. From what it sounds like, she’ll be going to rehab once she’s sober enough to leave the hospital. If she even wants to keep custody, anyway.”
We fall into a heavy silence, everyone processing that information. My hand tightens around Matty’s as a soft, broken sound escapes his throat—a sob he tries to choke back but can’t quite contain.
Without thinking, I throw my arms around him as tightly as I can while he fights back the wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm him.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this alone,” he whispers into my scalp, his voice trembling.
Before I can respond, bodies press in from all sides.
“You’re not alone, Matty,” Jenna says firmly, wrapping him in a fierce hug.
Taylor and Christian crowd in, too, their arms joining Jenna’s in a circle around him.
“Yeah, hermano, we’ve got you. All of us. We can do this.”
Chapter seventeen
“Ican’t do this.”
Fear grips me so tightly I can barely breathe, and I gape at Matty as he chuckles, completely unfazed. Hannah’s tiny form is cradled securely in his arms, but he’s already extending her toward me.
“Yes, you can. Just hold her like this, with your arm under her head.”
“Matthew, I don’t—"
He doesn’t give me any more time to object, just steps forward and gently deposits his daughter into my arms like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
Panic claws up my throat as I automatically adjust to support her head, my hands trembling. Matty bends to set down the rest of her things from the hospital, oblivious to my rising terror.
Fuck, she’s small.
Even after almost two months in the NICU, she’s still so tiny. So fragile. My chest tightens as I stare down at her, horrified.
A full head of dark hair, just like her mom, and a little button nose from her dad. Her fingers and toes are impossibly small, her cheeks round and soft. Cute as shit. Her eyes are blue, too, but Matty mentioned they might change.
When her tiny brows wrinkle, and she starts to fuss, I instinctively brush my thumb over her forehead, smoothing the lines. Her face relaxes almost instantly, and something in me shifts.
This is the first time I’ve held her.
I’ve done what I can over the last few weeks—running errands, helping Jenna and Matty’s parents while he’s been tied up with football—but I’ve kept my distance from her.
Now, with her warm weight in my arms, so real and so impossibly small, I’m scared shitless.
“See?” Matty’s voice pulls me back to the moment. He’s watching me with a soft smile, the kind of look that reaches into my chest and tugs hard. “You’re a natural.”
I swallow thickly, trying to shove down the fear still clawing at me. “I feel like I’m gonna drop her.”
“You won’t,” he says simply, turning to adjust the bassinet he just set up near our bed. “She’s safe with you, Xed. Always. But I can take her now.”
Those words mean more to me than he’ll ever know.
“No, it’s... I’m fine.” When he reaches for her, I instinctively pull back. “I’ll hold her a little longer.”
His lips curve into a bright smile, eyes shining with so much love as he gazes at her that it knocks the breath right out of me.
Goddammit, why does he have to be so good? Why does he have to make it so damn hard to keep my feelings for him strictly platonic?
For a while, we both just watch her, her tiny chest rising and falling, perfect little hands twitching in her sleep. She’s so precious.