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Following his lead, I kick off my shoes and toss the sweater, pulling off my jeans just in time for my best friend to tackle me onto the cushions after laying down a blanket. I’m much beefier than him, so I don’t go down easily, and we scuffle for a second, our bodies gliding together. We’re all tongues, lips, and teeth, biting and licking each other like we’re cannibals, but it’s the sexiest thing to be this gone with him, both of us lost to the moment.

It’s not until he has me on my back, pushing a leg up to my chest, that I panic slightly. “Don’t we need lube or something?”

That’s how anal sex works, right? I’ve never done it, but I’ve watched enough porn to know.

He gives me a funny look before reaching down to grab a bottle of lotion from the coffee table. “We can use this.”

“Is that…safe?”

“Why not?” With a shrug, he pours some onto his fingers. “Says it’s for sensitive skin. I’m pretty sure the asshole is the most sensitive part of your body.”

Makes sense to me.

Meeting my gaze, Xed runs his fingers down my crease, slipping between my cheeks. The minute his touch swipes across my hole, I clench with a jolt, the feeling foreign. A ball of anxiety swells in my gut, and the minute he prods my opening, my muscles lock into place. “Is it…will it hurt?”

Wetting his lips, Xed leans over to kiss me softly, wrapping a free hand around my cock. “I won’t let it. I’d never hurt you. I promise.”

Just like that, I immediately relax, going pliant beneath him as he starts to stroke me slowly. Because this is Xed, the guy who’s been by my side for as long as I can remember. My best friend, my ride-or-die, the one person who makes me feel invincible. I trust him with my life.

His finger slides in an inch at a time, the pace so slow and gentle that I’m nearly coming by the time he adds in a second, making me moan.

“Feel good, baby?” he asks, voice thick with desire as he continues to jerk me, and I nod eagerly.

“So…so good. Don’t stop.”

There’s a slight sting when he stretches me three fingers wide, but I barely register it when he wraps his lips around my cock and pokes something that has me erupting like Old Faithful.

“Oh, god,” I cry out, thrusting on his fingers as I come down his throat, toes curling from the electric current coursing through my veins. “What the fuuuck?”

What just happened? Why did that feel so fucking good?

Chuckling, he pops off of me, pulling his fingers from my ass when I go limp. “I’m pretty sure that was your prostate.”

“I hate you.” Groaning, I reach down to cup my sack, hissing at how sensitive it feels now. Jesus Christ. “I’m getting you back for that. See how you like it when your balls ache.”

“You can have your revenge later.” He grabs the lotion again, coating his palm before bringing it to his dick. “I need to get inside you before I come too. That was fucking hot.”

I’m so exhausted by that mind-numbing orgasm that I don’t even tense when he positions himself at my hole. After lubing up some more, he pushes forward slowly, capturing my mouth when I gasp at the sudden burn. As soon as his crown pops through that first ring of muscle, though, it feels… fucking incredible. It’s still stinging but so full. Connected with him in a way we’ve never been.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, resting his forehead against mine. “You… I’m inside you right now. I don’t think I’ll last.”

Swallowing hard, I kiss him slowly, shaking from the sweat forming on my skin. “Is this your first time?”

I know the answer, but I want to hear it from him. I want to watch the words fall from his lips.

Pulling back, he blinks down at me, eyes glazed with pleasure and a vulnerability that makes my heart hurt. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, no,” I shake my head quickly, wrapping my arms and legs around him even though the position is slightly awkward. “You’re doing so good, Ducky. Fuck, I’m so full. I just…want to be your first.”

Huffing, he lays himself flat on top of me, burying his face in my chest. “Who else, Matthew? You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”

The weight of those words settles over me as he starts to move, thrusting in and out so softly that all I can do is whimper as my eyes sink closed.

You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.

He fucks me gently like he’s afraid of hurting me, and I’m tempted to roll us over so that I can show him how great we can be, but I don’t. Instead, I just hold him, moving to his rhythm, both of us moaning and breathless. There’s something so right about this, about us in this moment, and I tilt his head to join our lips. Xed has always been mine. And I’ve always been his.

Nothing will ever change that.