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“You needed me.”

That comment has his face falling, and he drops his gaze.

Placing his hands on the box, he opens the flaps slowly, revealing the contents inside. As soon as I see what he’s showing me, my eyes swell again, my throat burning when I grab our Duck Crossing sign off the top of the pile. Beneath it lies every sign we’ve ever stolen.

“What is all this?” My voice cracks, and Xed takes the sign from me, looking down at it fondly.

“I planned to give these to you as a wedding gift. One last fuck you for leaving me, but…" His sad eyes meet mine when a choked sob leaves my throat, the thought of losing him forever like a knife to my heart. A contemplative look crosses his features. “Maybe you can just hold onto them. For now.”

My face twists in confusion. “Hold onto them until when?”

Xed licks his lips, running a hand across his mouth. “I don’t know, Matty. Until I’m…better.”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

Growling in frustration, he tosses the sign back into the box before throwing his arms wide. “Look at me, man. Really look. Do you think I’m suitable for Hannah right now? Fuck, Matthew, I was snorting coke in a strip club bathroom not even a week ago!”

I bristle at the memory, viscerally jealous at Devon’s junk being anywhere near my best friend. Next time I see that asshole, I’m kicking him in the dick. “But you stopped, though. You’ve been sober all week.”

“It’s not that simple.” Pulling up his sleeve, he flashes me his scarred arm, pointing to a fresh burn he must have done last night. The sight has tears spilling onto my already damp cheeks. “It’s not just about the drugs or the drinking. This needs to stop. I can’t be there for Hannah if I can’t even be there for myself.”

“So you’re leaving me?!” I cry, setting down the box to pull him against my chest. I already had to endure a year without him. I won’t survive it again.

Wrapping his arms around me, Xed sighs, resting his forehead on my chin. “I need help, Matty. I’m not healthy. Don’t think I’ve ever been. Having me around will only make it harder for you in a custody case, trust me.”

“What are you going to do?” Squeezing him tight, I bury my face in his hair, trembling slightly. It feels so good to hold him. “I don’t want to lose you again, Ducky. Please.”

With a shrug, he tightens his grip, face buried in my chest. “Taylor’s been annoying the fuck out of me about seeing his therapist. Maybe I’ll give it a go. See what happens.”

“But you can do that from Phoenix,” I rush out, pulling back to gaze at him desperately. “We can set you up on virtual visits. There are rehabs and programs. Why do we need to be apart again?”

He chews on his cheek, studying me for a quiet moment. “I need space, Matty. To…figure shit out. In a healthy way this time. And I think you do, too.”

But I don’t. I don’t want space. I want to be with him always. “But you’ll still talk to me, right? You won’t shut me out this time?”

Xed takes a moment to think about his answer, choosing his words carefully. “I’ll always be there for Hannah, you know that. But I think…I think we should keep our communications to a minimum. Just important updates.”

My first instinct is to cry, to drop to my knees and beg him to forgive me, plead with him to let me back in.

I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

“I won’t lie and say I get it because I don’t,” I respond, swallowing down the fear and desperation. This is the least I can do after everything I’ve put him through over the last year. “But if this is what you need…fine. Okay. Okay?”

“Okay.”

We gaze at each other silently, and I map his features, not knowing when I’ll see him again. It feels like my entire being is crumbling, falling to pieces at his feet, but I need to do better. I need to prove to him that Hannah and I deserve him in our lives.

“So, is this goodbye?” I whisper, blinking away more tears, surprised that I even have any left to shed.

My best friend quirks his lips, leaning up on his tiptoes to ghost his mouth over mine. “It’s not goodbye. Not this time.” He smiles softly, the first real one I’ve seen from him in so long. It feels like a parting gift.

“Until I see you again, baby.”

Sasquatch:

Hey, did you make it home okay?

Ducky: