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With a snort, I stifle a yawn. “No. I had work. Pulled a double at the shop.”
Matty smacks his lips, giving me a pout. “Taylor watches all of Huckslee’s games.”
“Yeah, well, he’s toxically obsessed with his stepbrother.”
“You’re not obsessed with me?”
My mouth opens, but I shut it, not really knowing what to say.
Thankfully Matty gives me an out when I don’t respond. “Why were you working a double?”
Sinking back down onto my twin mattress, I gaze up at the water-stained ceiling. “Keeps me busy, I guess.”
He’s silent for a moment, watching me through the screen. “Everything okay?”
Fan-fucking-tastic.
“It’s…yeah. It’s fine.”
Between detoxing, therapy, NA meetings, dodging calls from Pearl’s nursing home, and Salem slowly spiraling, things are not fine. The more I work, the less I have to be home to witness my roommate’s self-destruction though. Luckily, Tay and Christian are going on tour soon, so I hope that’ll keep her occupied. Other than the fact that she’ll be stuck with her ex-boyfriend who’s also her other ex-boyfriend’s nephew. And also her husband. Glad I’m staying out of that shit-show.
Matty hums, clearly not convinced but he lets it go. “You know what I was thinking about the other day?”
Narrowing my tired eyes, I squint at him. “Is this important?”
“Yes,” he says quickly, sitting up in bed. I don’t know what his room looks like—all I can see is a wooden headboard and the glow from some kind of lamp. “It’s super important, I promise.”
Doubtful.
Squeezing my lids shut, I clench my teeth, wanting to be angry but missing him so bad it steals my breath. “What were you thinking about, Matty?”
“Remember the first time we kissed?”
“Really?” With a huff, I place the phone face-down on my chest to hide my expression. “How is that important? I’m hanging up.”
“No, wait!” His panicked voice reaches my ears. “There’s a point to this. Just answer, do you remember?”
“What the fuck kind of question is that?”
Of course I remember. Who forgets their first kiss? We’d both been sixteen at the time, and he’d just spent the summer at football camp. It had been the loneliest few months of my life, the longest I’d ever been without him.
“You just went right for it,” Matty laughs, my screen still hidden so I can’t see his face. “The moment I walked into the house, you threw your arms around my neck and kissed me. Right in front of my parents.”
Swallowing hard, I scrub at my face, willing away the tears that want to fall. “Yeah, so? I was bored without you. Spent that entire summer getting shitfaced with Christian while Taylor bitched about Huckslee. It sucked.”
There’s a beat of silence as he absorbs my words. “Did you know then? That you were in love with me?”
Rolling over onto my side, I glare out my window, light from a nearby billboard illuminating the bare walls in my room.
All I could think about the entire time we were apart that summer was how much it ached to be away from him. How I craved his warmth beside me at night, the feel of his strong arms pulling me close. I never wanted to be separated again.
Teenage me was a fool.
“Ducky?” Matty’s whisper stirs the silence, and I bite my cheek, resentment settling heavy in my chest.
“You wanna know what I remember most about that night?” I start, my voice completely flat. “How the second you dropped off your bags, you were back out the door to see Val. Said you couldn’t go any longer without getting laid after I spent three whole months missing you.”
He inhales sharply, and I hear him fumble with the phone. “That’s not fair. I was a teenage boy, I’d just spent months hardly jerking off—"
