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Wheezing, I shift around his hold to breathe, no stranger to the way he can’t control his strength. “You didn’t even let me finish.”

“Because I don’t want to hear what you were about to say,” he says, voice shaking. “I want you, Ducky, like we used to be. In my life, by my side, raising Hannah.”

“What we used to be isn’t enough.” Turning my head to meet his gaze, my heart breaks when I see the tears on his cheeks. “I need more than that this time.”

We stare at each other silently for a long moment, seconds ticking by. His fingers begin to rub along my happy trail, and the atmosphere in the room changes. His tongue darts out to lick his lips as the strong column of his throat flexes with a swallow. It isn’t until he presses his hips into me that I feel his hardness against my ass.

“Let me show you,” he murmurs, dipping his head so our lips barely brush. “Please, let me show you how much you mean to me.”

The desperation in his voice has my cock twitching, warmth flooding my groin for the first time in months.

I shouldn’t. There are still so many questions unanswered between us, things that he needs to figure out, but it’s been so long, and I’m sick of being lonely. A piece of my soul was torn away, and now here he is, holding me tightly as if his arms could squeeze me back together.

I don’t want to be the strong one right now. I want to give in.

Leaning up on my toes, I kiss him gently, sweetly, our mouths moving together in perfect sync. It doesn’t take long before it turns heated, his tongue lapping at mine like he’s starving.

I’m pinned against the counter, the pressure making me hard, and I groan into his mouth when he scrapes a nail over my nipple. “Fuck, I missed you doing that.”

“I love how you get when I do it,” he moans, palms sliding down to cup my dick. “Missed you so much. I’ve been thinking about that night when you fucked me, how you said we could try it both ways…”

My breath catches as I push back against him. “You wanna fuck me, Matty? Feel my ass around your cock?”

A filthy whine escapes his lips. “Please. I need to be inside you.”

Fuck. We shouldn’t. He’s still so confused and dealing with all this custody bullshit. But he’s the only one who makes me feel like I’m dying, and only his touch can save my soul.

Eyeing the cooking oil above the sink, I grab it and thrust the bottle into his hands before dropping my jeans. “Get me ready, big guy.”

Chapter thirty-nine

Choking in disbelief, Matty freezes for a second, his pulse racing so hard I can feel it through his body. Shaking himself out of it, he reaches around and grips my cock excitedly, making me grunt.

“Easy, baby.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispers, his breath hot in my ear as he loosens his fist, stroking me slowly. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”

Neither did I. But I’m not backing out now.

Spinning around, I hop onto the counter, knocking dishes out of the way. Our height difference puts my ass level with his crotch, and his eyes widen when I spread my legs, bracing my heels on the ledge.

Baring myself to him.

“Holy shit.” His heated gaze takes me in, dropping to my hole on full display as he pants erratically.

Reaching out, I hook my fingers into the waistband of his jeans, dragging him close for a kiss. He reaches between us, undoing his pants before shimmying out of them, the tip of his length nudging my hole.

“Lube, Matty,” I breathe, tapping the hand that still holds the oil, and he nods with his tongue fluttering against mine.

“Yeah, okay.”

Pouring some onto his fingers, he slips between my crease, rubbing around my pucker with clumsy fingers. A bead of precum pools in his slit when we groan in unison, my head falling back against the cabinet. It’s sloppy and messy, nowhere near enough prep, but neither of us cares.

Once I’m oiled up, he slicks his cock, positioning himself at my entrance. When he pushes in suddenly, breaching the first ring of muscle, I hiss against the sudden burn.

“Sorry!” His voice breaks as he goes to pull out, but I clutch his waist, keeping him in place.

“Don’t be fucking sorry. I’m not scared of you, big guy. Don’t hold back. Give it all to me.”