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Don’t leave me, I want to beg. I’m still here. I just don’t know how to come back.

“Please,” she sobs, a single word that breaks through all the rest.

And somehow I know it’s not just her asking me to stay.

It’s me, begging myself to fight.

Lightning strikes, a quake rumbling through the foundations of the void, cracking apart around me.

I try to shout, to reach out my hand, anything to let them know that I’m trying.

I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying⁠—

The vastness yawns wide, swallowing me whole. I freefall into darkness more profound than anything I’ve ever known. All warmth is stripped away, and I’m ice, spiraling toward the ground where I shatter into pieces, absorbed by the sun. Mist and vapor, shapeless, untouchable.

Please. I’m trying. I want to come home.

Don’t let me go.

Chapter

Forty

Salem

“You can't just fucking make these decisions!” Fury licks up my spine. Taylor squeezes my shoulder, but it does nothing to calm me down. "I'm his wife. And you saw the scans, there’s brain activity."

Sarah stands near the foot of Logan’s bed, her arms crossed like a shield. Beside her, Joel looks at me with that same empty disapproval I’ve grown to despise. “There’s been no sign of improvement,” he says flatly. “The doctor said it’s unlikely⁠—”

“I don’t give a shit what’s unlikely!”

Sarah's lip trembles. “I can’t watch my son suffer like this, Salem. Please. You need to let him go.”

“How can you be okay with this?” I hiss, glaring at her. “You raised him! Or does he no longer matter since you have four other biological children to take his place?”

My head whips to the side when her palm cracks across my cheek. Taylor gasps, and my shaking fingers raise instantly to touch the stinging mark.

“How dare you?” she scolds as tears escape the corners of her blood-shot eyes. “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t sit up every night praying for a miracle?”

Swallowing hard, I drop my gaze to my husband on the bed. “He's still in there, I can feel it. Please. At least wait until Devon turns up before we⁠—”

“Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.”

I squeeze my lids shut, stomach plummeting to the floor.

No.

“Devon,” Sarah whispers. Her voice is barely audible over the pulse pounding in my head.

When I open my eyes, they land on Dev standing next to Christian. He looks like shit, gaunt cheeks and pink skin freshly healed from road rash on his arms. His hard gaze barely spares his parents a glance when he moves closer, zeroing in on Logan instead. Like he’s searching for a trace of the boy we all used to know. Taylor stands frozen beside me, quiet for once. The silence wraps around us like a shroud.

“Is he…” Dev starts before trailing off.

Joel answers quicker than I can, throwing me a harsh look. “He's gone. I'll go get the doctor.”

Sarah chokes out a sob and nearly collapses. If Tay hadn't been close by to catch her, she’d have hit the floor. But I'm not sad. I'm fucking outraged.

“Why?” I snarl, lurching forward to shove Devon back. He doesn't even resist, just slumps against the guardrails of the bed with a blank expression. So I shove him again, and again, eventually pounding my fists into his shoulders while hot tears flow down my cheeks. “Why did you come back? I hate you. I fucking hate you!”