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All I can do is huff a weak laugh and walk away.
What I did is beyond repair. It's beyond redemption.
I am shattered glass and there's no fixing what I've become.
Chapter
Fourteen
Salem
“I think I'm a sex addict,” Christian sighs.
I choke on my mouthful of coffee, spitting it to the RV floor with a scowl. “No shit, Sherlock. What gave you away?”
“Shut up. This is serious. Like I legit have a problem.”
Don't we all? For three days now, we've been in Ohio, and even though the fans are loving the two-person flip, I keep having to delete disgusting comments online sexualizing the guys. Even worse than that, it’s drawn the homophobes out of the woodwork. God forbid two dudes hold each other on a dirt bike, right?
Shaking my head, I grab a cloth from the drawer to mop up my mess. “I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you've been this way since we were, like, fourteen. It's good you're recognizing it now, though.”
Christian's been a horny fuckboy since day one.
He frowns at me, dark brown locks falling around his shoulders. “How do I fix it? I don't wanna come anymore.”
For a long moment, I can only blink at him because, seriously? Then I burst into a fit of laughter.
Scowling, he flicks my forehead and crosses his inked arms. “Don't laugh at me, culo. My dick is ruining my life.”
Biting back a grin, I notice the worry in his bright hazel eyes. “What happened? Is it falling off?”
He doesn't respond, just gazes out the window in deep thought, jaw tight. Fuck, he actually looks upset.
I set my cup in the small sink and give him my full attention. “What's really going on? Did something happen with Arya?”
“No.” He pauses for a second. “Yes. And… Devon.”
Not surprising. Arya already talked my ear off about what they did last night. “Okay, and?”
Blowing out a breath, Christian collapses against the counter, eyes on the ceiling. “And I liked it, and stuff. Yeah?”
I snort, earning a glare in response. “Christian, buddy, mi amor, you know almost everyone on this trip is some form of queer, right? Huckslee is gay, Taylor is… well, Taylor. Arya and Dev are both bi. I'm not going to judge you for being a little curious.”
He tosses me a sidelong glance. “How about you and Logan? Any secrets to share?”
Something sharp twists in my chest, but I try to hide my reaction by running my fingers through my hair. “Logan and I aren't anything.”
“Besides married.”
“Stop deflecting.” I narrow my eyes and point a finger in his direction. “You asked me for advice, not the other way around. It's okay to experiment, and Devon is the perfect candidate.”
He tilts his head in confusion. “Why?”
Why, indeed? I grab my camera, thinking back to all the shit that happened with Xed last year; all those times Dev wanted us to suck his dick for a bump of coke. I'm not proud of it. But what's done is done, and we can't change the past, right? Only let it eat us alive. “Because he's incapable of feeling anything. Who better to test your queeriosity on?”
Christian doesn't respond, so I exit the RV and make my way across the campsite toward our home for the week: the Cleveland Fairgrounds. Everyone's off doing their own thing, either relaxing or preparing for the show tonight. I intend on taking some pictures of the fair rides and maybe grabbing a funnel cake, but my eyes lock on Logan’s, in line at a hotdog stand.
As soon as he starts toward me, I turn the other way and duck into a narrow row of vendor tents. My heart hammers like I’m sixteen again, hiding from a boy I don’t want to talk to. I weave past booths selling kettle corn and T-shirts, past a cotton candy stand blasting country music, until I find a hidden spot behind a haunted house. The rusted-out trailer is half-covered in ripped plastic and hand painted ghouls with googly eyes.
