Page 65

Groaning, I stretch out my aching back and frown down at my shirt, still covered in blood from the helmet Salem shoved at me.

Huck sits beside me, bouncing his knee anxiously as we wait for Devon to get stitched up. We found him sitting on the curb next to his dented Ducati—and his face hadn't looked much better. Jesus, Salem really did a number on him.

I don't think I've ever seen her so angry.

Someone coughs loudly in the waiting room we're in, a few sniffle and sob. The overhead lights buzz, making my ears ache. I drop my head into my hands with a deep sigh. How the hell did everything get so fucked up?

“He's gonna be fine,” Huck says quietly, hands folded in his lap while his leg goes off like a jackhammer. “I think. Pretty sure.”

“Honestly, man? I'm not worried about Devon. He kinda had it coming.”

The knee bouncing slows slightly before picking back up again. “Yeah, he did. Guy's a douchebag. I don't get why Taylor invited him on this trip.”

Probably because Tay sees things we don't sometimes.

Reaching out, I place my hand on Huck's knee to still his movements. “You can wait in the car if you want. I know hospitals make you nervous.”

He turns to look at me with pinched brows. “I'm fine, but how are you? That was a lot back there. You okay?”

I stare at him for a moment and assess my emotions. Right now, they're currently running the gambit, but only one in particular keeps shoving to the forefront of my mind. “Do you think I'm a bad person?”

Huck blinks rapidly at that. “Define bad. Like, on a scale of Devon to Valerie?”

“No. Maybe. Like…” Licking my lips, I drop my gaze to my shoes, unable to look him in the eye. “What I did. With Devon.”

“You mean because you're both guys?”

There's an edge to his voice that grabs my attention, and I shake my head quickly. “That’s not what I meant, man. I mean the fact that I… I slept with someone that I thought was my uncle. And I'm married.”

And I lied about it.

Huck sighs before combing a hand through his wild curls. “You knew he wasn't blood related when it happened, though. It’s not like Dev was ever around much. I've known you practically our whole lives, and I didn’t even know he existed until we were teenagers. As for Salem… You know marriage is more than just a piece of paper, right?”

“Yes, I know that.”

“Do you?” he presses, seeing right through my bullshit.

I shift uncomfortably under his attention. “I just… I thought if I did it, if I said the vows, the rest would follow. That it would… fix me.”

Make me what my parents and God wanted me to be.

Huck’s brows pull together. “Fix you?”

A bitter laugh escapes my throat. “You ever felt like there’s this... this version of yourself that you keep for everyone else, but no matter how hard you try, the real you keeps bleeding through?”

He leans back in his chair and lets out a long breath. “Of course I have. I hid myself from everyone all through junior high and high school, remember?”

“Yeah, well… I lied to her. To Salem. She wasn't a cover for anything, Huck. I really do love her. I'm attracted to her. But… sometimes men, too.”

“And you think that makes you a bad person?”

“I think it makes me exactly like my parents,” I mutter, my anger bubbling to the surface. The wounds of hurt and betrayal had barely scabbed over, and all of this shit just ripped them open again.

But what have I done except the same exact thing to someone I claim to love? She might not have been a ”beard,” but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say that it was a bonus dating her—one I still can't bring myself to admit out loud.

Huckslee's quiet for a long moment as he studies the side of my face. It takes all my strength to finally meet his gaze, and I'm rendered speechless by the sadness swimming in his eyes.

“I’ve known you forever, Loge,” he starts, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And not once, not one fucking time, have I ever thought you were a bad person.”