Page 102
“Hey.”
I rotate in place to find Xed leaning against the doorway, arms crossed loosely over his chest. He’s changed since the last time I saw him over two years ago. Softer, maybe. Lighter. Marriage looks good on him, which is a thought I immediately hate myself for having.
“Hey,” I reply.
“How've you been?” he asks, causing my lips to twitch.
“Fine. Just admiring the place, it's nice.”
Xed hums and glances around like he’s seeing it through my eyes for the first time. “Yeah. Matty bought it for Hannah. He wanted her to have all the room she needed to grow.”
“Sounds like him.”
Another pause settles between us. I can feel him studying me, a pensive look crossing his features the longer we stare at each other.
Finally, he speaks again. “You seem… I don't know. I wouldn't say different, because you look the same, but there's definitely some kind of change.”
“I mean, I'm sober now,” I huff, reaching up to drag a hand through my hair. “Things got rough there for a minute, but I'm trying—”
“I never got a chance to thank you,” he interrupts suddenly, catching me off guard.
“Me? For what?”
“Keeping me alive.”
He says it so simply that all I can do is search his features in disbelief, unsure of how to respond.
When I say nothing back, he shrugs and continues. “I was drowning back when we were… hanging out. Without Matty and Hannah, life felt pretty meaningless. If you hadn't been around, I'm not sure I would have made it.”
“Xed,” I rasp, swallowing hard. “I got you addicted to drugs. Literally used to make you and Salem suck me off for payment. What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I know,” he says quietly. “I remember.”
“Then why would you—”
“Because it’s not the whole story,” he cuts me off again, advancing into the room. “I was already looking for ways to hurt myself, Dev. You didn’t cause that. You just met me where I was.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
“No, it doesn’t. What you did wasn’t healthy. What I did wasn’t either. We were just… two people bleeding on each other.”
Something sharp twists inside my chest.
“But,” he says, “you also listened to me. Made me laugh when I didn’t think I could anymore. Maybe it wasn't in the best way, but you showed up when I needed you, and I won’t forget that.”
Shaking my head, I drop my gaze to the rug. “That’s not how I remember it.”
He studies me thoughtfully. “You know, despite what everyone else might think, I've never seen you as the villain. Every single person here has messed up at one point or another.”
“Yeah, but I almost killed someone.”
“So did Taylor. Not directly, but... Does that make him a bad person?”
With a heavy sigh, I turn toward a large bay window and stare out at the desert landscape. “I don't know Taylor enough to answer that question.”
“Well, I do. And I think I know you enough to tell you that neither of you are bad people. Life just dealt nearly everyone in this house a shitty hand.”
“Nearly?” I say, raising a brow over my shoulder.