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“Hm,” I grunt, getting back to work.

He makes it sound so simple, but nothing has been simple between me and Dev since… Well, ever, basically. Shit’s been helter-skelter from the start. I didn’t know him well when he popped up out of nowhere, and after the stuff he pulled with Xed and Salem a couple years ago, I can’t say I particularly liked the guy. Even if I found him fuckhot.

Then Taylor—with his bleeding heart—invited him on the tour last year along with Logan and everything went south. But maybe things were always destined to head that way with us. Not just Dev and me, but this friend group as a whole. Shit got better for Xed and Matty when they moved away, same for Salem. Can’t say for sure with Huck and Tay, but from the looks of it, Huckslee’s art is taking off. Maybe…

Maybe all of us being around each other has been the fucking problem all along.

“Christ,” I breathe. The thought rips something open inside of me, and I throw my tools down with a clank.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Logan steps up quickly to brace my shoulder.

Swallowing hard, I stare at him as this newfound revelation nearly knocks me off my feet. “You need to leave.”

His hand drops away, face falling when he starts toward the door, but I grab his wrist tightly.

“No, I mean like moving out. Getting your own place with Owen. It’s good, man. You deserve your own life and space to grow, because none of us… None of us can do that around each other.”

Logan’s brows slam down. “What does that even mean?”

“Look at everyone else. Really look. They’ve all gotten happier since they left, and yet everyone who stays just keeps circling the same shit. Including me.” Letting out a defeated sigh, I release him and sag against the workbench as I carefully consider my next words. Ones I’ve never said to anyone, and I sure as hell have never spoken them out loud because they make me feel like the piece of shit that I am. “Logan, man, I know we’re not like best buds or whatever, but I… I honestly didn’t expect Devon to survive last year. Not really.”

That finally gets a strong reaction.

Logan jolts and straightens immediately. “Christian⁠—”

“I’m serious. I thought he’d burn himself out, get caught up doing something dumb. But I had Taylor to look after, right? Not that he needed me. He hasn’t for a long time. But… Devon did. He needed people. And when he showed back up at probably the worst moment in his life—” My throat tightens, cutting off my sentence, and I have to pause to clear it. “I was so focused on this life I built with my best friend that I let Devon drown. We all did. How do you trust someone after that?”

Logan’s mouth opens, then shuts. He releases a long breath, visibly fighting for some kind of response. The longer the silence stretches on, the more my skin starts to itch.

“Anyway,” I say eventually, unsure why I unloaded onto Logan of all people. This should have been a Taylor conversation. “Moving on is good. It’s important. Hanging around here will only keep you stuck in the past.”

“Christian, listen.” Finally finding his voice, Logan places his hands on my arms. “People do change when they leave. It’s not a bad thing. Distance gives perspective. Space gives breathing room.”

My muscles tense as I brace for him to tell me how much I fucked up, how things between Dev and I are irreparable…

But he doesn’t.

“You didn’t let Devon drown,” he says instead. “You were treading water yourself.”

I scoff weakly. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“That’s because guilt and grief don’t care about logic.”

It’s my turn to remain speechless now. I squint at him, waiting for an explanation.

“We all lost something last year, every single one of us. Be it a friendship, a relationship, or an outlook on life. What happened was…” He trails off, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “It was fucked up. All of it. What I did with Dev, what you did. Salem hurting him. The crash. It changed everyone, and maybe not all for the better, but you know what? You thinking he wouldn’t make it just means you were scared.”

And there it is.

I wrench my gaze toward the bike frame, feeling like it isn’t enough. Nothing ever will be. “I know. I’m a fucking coward⁠—”

“But you let him back in anyway when he showed up again,” Logan continues softly. “You could’ve shut him out, and you didn’t. We can’t change the past, man, but we can sure as hell learn from it. And grow from it.”

I search his face as I let those words sink in. My heart thuds painfully against my ribs. “You think we could come back from something like that? Him and me?”

“Huck and Taylor did. Matty and Xed did. Salem and I figured it out. Maybe now it’s your turn to get it right.”

The shed suddenly feels stiflingly hot. Uncertainty traps the air inside my lungs, making it hard to breathe. “Even if he forgives me… I don’t know how to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop,” I admit softly.