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“Yeah,” she admits over a gust of wind. “It kind of is. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. That’s kinda why I’m calling.”
There's a long pause on her end that has me bracing for the line to go dead. But then she finally speaks again. “What’s up?”
Leaning my shoulder against the container, I close my eyes and let the cool metal ground me. “I just… I need to ask you something. And you can tell me to fuck off if you want.”
“I won’t. Ask away.”
“Were we good?”
She doesn’t respond at first, and words burst out of my throat in a panic. “I mean, was I good to you? Did I treat you right?”
“Christian,” she sighs. “What prompted this after so long?”
“Just something Devon said,” I answer vaguely, chewing on my cheek. Haven't heard from that asshole since I left for California. Logan mentioned that Owen had hung out with him yesterday, and it made me extremely jealous.
“Devon?” Arya says his name flatly and huffs a dry laugh. “You two speaking again, then?”
“Kind of. He moved in, so I don't really have a choice.”
Licking his dick was certainly a choice, though.
“What did he say?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose tightly. “Something about my attitude being the reason you cheated and left me.”
“Wow,” she giggles, and the sound makes my chest tighten. “Getting right to it, huh? Look, Christian, you weren't… cruel. You weren't mean. It's not like you were physically abusive or anything, but you were maybe a little controlling sometimes.”
“Wait, for real?”
“For real. Plus… I think you have some serious feelings to sort out about your sexuality.”
My spine snaps straight at that. “Yo, what the hell—”
“Don't get me wrong, the threesomes were great, but it got to the point where that's all we were doing. And if we weren't with someone else, your foreplay was talking about it. About other guys. About dicks, Christian. You see what I'm saying?”
“Yeah, I see,” I grunt, heat crawling up my neck. “So that's why you did it, then? Because I'm confused?”
Am I confused? I think for the most part, I've been pretty damn forward about embracing the fact that I find Devon hot.
Arya scoffs. “Of course not, you jerk. I don't give a shit if you like guys. I just… I don't know. I didn't feel like your partner anymore. I felt like something you could use and manipulate into exploring your fantasies, and when things went south with Dev, it wasn't fun anymore.”
“That doesn't mean—”
“I know,” she interrupts. “I'm not excusing what I did. That's on me, and I own that. But you asked why I did it, so I'm answering honestly.”
“Hm.” My head thumps against the container as I gaze at the graying sky. “So it was me, all along.”
“It wasn't anyone. We just weren't compatible anymore, Christian. It happens.”
“What does that even mean?”
Arya’s quiet for a moment, and I swear I hear another voice murmur in the background before she continues. “We just wanted different things. You don't like staying still; everything always needs to be exciting and new. Otherwise, you'd get bored. I think you were bored with me, and that's where the threesomes came in. Where Devon came in.”
Ouch. “Wow, that makes me sound like a piece of fucking shit.”
“You're not. You're human. And probably have some undiagnosed brain stuff going on.”
