Page 54
She made herself busy sealing the ink well, shutting her book, and putting all her writing supplies into a drawer.
“Aura why must you be so damn stubborn about everything? Is someone hurting you?”
“Someone is hurting me every moment of every day,” she said, plainly.
“I’ll kill—”
“It’s me, Sylvan,” she interrupted. Her eyes flicked up to mine. “Every day. Every hour. I’m always fighting this damn wolf or whatever.”
It was a partial truth. She was still hiding something. “Then stop fighting it,” I told her.
“Easy for you to say.” She stepped around her desk. “Come on. There are distillations I need to take care of.”
Perhaps she wasn’t lying, but I knew the likelihood of Shan being there in the morning was high. I wanted to talk to her for longer in private. “Wait,” I said, pressing my hand against the door as she started to open it.
She turned, her bruised face angled up toward me, very little space remaining between us. She pressed her back against the door and crossed her arms, but that sweet scent punctuated the air and her pulse quickened. Her hand moved to her stomach again, a slight grimace taking over her face.
“I need you to understand what may be happening to you,” I said. “Heat is something very intense. It can even be dangerous if not handled well.”
“Not this again.”
“Deny it all you want, but the signs are there. The cramps, the irritability. Do you get night sweats? Dreams?”
“Those are all signs of Lobofebris,” she said.
“Ironically, yes. But increased arousal is not. So, I need to know. Do you have someone you can be with, who you trust, in this time? A partner? A lover?”
Confusion crawled into her scent before the realization took over her features. “I think you know the answer to that.”
My shoulders went slack with relief. “You may lose your sense of self-control. Your body and your mind will tell you that you need one thing and one thing only. And let’s just say, there can be many regrets. Trust me, I know. But arrangements can be made, even if temporary. Someone who is not even necessarily a partner can help with the insatiable urges.”
“How long does it last?”
“Three to five days.”
She swore under her breath but bravely met my gaze. The fear that filled her was almost concrete. There were a few beats of silence before she said, “My mother did this.” She pointed to her face, and I clenched my fist. “It’ll heal, soon, but not her loathing for who I am. If this … thing, this Heat, is going to happen to me, I can’t be home. It’s too dangerous. Can’t it be stopped?”
My heart ached for her. “You’re already showing the signs. I doubt it can be stopped. You can lock yourself away, but depending on how intense it is, you may end up hurting yourself. Some say the desire could drive a lycan to madness akin to lunacy. Uncontrollable shifting. Disorientation. But with a partner, it’s a lot more tolerable, a lot safer. More the way nature intended it.”
She scoffed and lowered her arms, but her swallow was audible. “If you don’t mind, we have work to do.”
I started to move, but my fingers came up to Aura’s face of their own volition, lightly touching beneath the healing bruise. It had to have been a hard enough strike for it to remain on someone with vampiric and lycan healing.
My mother did this. Her words held such detachment. It wasn’t the first time.
“I know what it’s like,” I began, my tone low. “For the person who brought you into this world to strike you hard enough to bruise. I know it hurts more than the injury itself. My father was a cruel man. At least to me.”
Her eyes darted back and forth as if her brain was short-circuiting. Like she couldn’t figure out a response or didn’t know how to process the information.
“No wonder you hate yourself,” I said, thinking aloud. “It’s what you’ve been taught.”
She shoved me back, and I didn’t resist. I gave her space. “You’re walking on thin ice,” she said. “Stop wasting my time and yours.” She yanked the door open and marched out of the room. I followed her, walking in silence to the workshop.
It was empty when we entered, the flameless candles flickering to life. Shan wasn’t there, and I breathed out a soft sigh of relief.
Aura didn’t speak. Her heels clicked against the floor as she made her way to a tank against one side of the room. She lifted the lid and reached in, turning back with a large black snake lazily slung across her shoulders and settled around her neck. My heart sped up as she returned to me, the snake partially cupped in her hands, its body slithering almost endlessly. “Do you know what the process of making an antivenom is like?” she asked.
I shook my head.
