Page 76
My shoulders were practically up to my ears with tension. I released a slow breath and said, “I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s what is expected. Because there’s nothing else that can be done. I need the pack’s trust. And I’m nothing without them anyway.”
She drew more imaginary symbols. “What do you want to do?”
I shrugged. “I think it’s not so much what I want to do as much as what’s best for the pack.”
“Bonding,” she said. She glanced sidelong at me as her fingers drummed on the wood. “To each other.”
My voice caught in my throat as I tried to respond. “Yes,” I finally managed to say.
Her smile was sad, but a hint of amusement was hidden behind it. “At least I know you find me desirable.”
My brow lifted. “Oh?”
She laughed. “Oh, yes. I might have been in Heat at the time, but I haven’t forgotten.”
“We were grieving.”
“Indeed we were. And at first, I regretted it. But you know, it also opened my eyes. I got to see the man you are. You didn’t just leave after. You sat with me, chatted with me. You cared to know more about me—not just Antoine’s Bonded mate. Not just the omega. That’s something no one bothers to do. And it’s fine, because I know my purpose. To breed. To continue the bloodline, strengthen the pack. To keep everyone happy.”
I frowned. “While you suffer in your own unhappiness.”
She nodded and swiped her thumb across her cheek. “And you do the same, Alpha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You don’t want this either.” I let out a soft chuckle, and she pulled her feet from the water, wrapping her arms around her legs. She rested her cheek against her knees to peer at me. “So, what do we do? Suffer in unhappiness together?”
“What other choice do we have?”
She lifted her head and pursed her lips. “You tell me.”
We leave, I wanted to say. We get the hells out of this place. Start fresh.
But how? A lone wolf’s life wasn’t easy. It was dangerous. There was a reason most packs stayed together. I heaved a sigh and stared across the water, because I didn’t want to see the potential disappointment in Clover’s eyes. “We do what’s expected of us. We bond. For the pack.”
She cleared her throat. “When?”
“Your next Heat. Might be easiest?” I glanced at her now as a breeze blew hair into her face. I tucked the blond strands behind her ear, and for a moment it was Aura’s ear I saw. The pointed tip. The golden snake cuff and piercings. My heart faltered, and the next words caught in my throat. “We can start sharing a room. I promise I’ll be nothing but respectful. We’ll make it work.”
She nodded and pressed my hand against her cheek. For a moment we sat there in uncertain silence, staring at each other. No hostility. No lust. No love. Only understanding and fear of the future. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against her nose, then her cheeks as I lowered my hand. Wrapping my arm around her back, I let her lean into me, and together we sat in the symphony of the woodland around us.
“I’ve been hearing the others talk,” she murmured. “Evander has stood up for you, but Caleb wants to turn the pack against you. Just … be careful, alright?”
“I will.”
40
BLOOD AND TEARS
AURA
My thirst seemed unquenchable. I attributed it to the past few days of nonstop ecstasy. Sylvan had ensured I stopped to rehydrate and recharge, but now my body felt as though it had been wrung out. The jitters crept in when daylight morphed into night. The restlessness I’d felt over the past week was different. It was less targeted and more frazzled. I needed to move, to run, to slam my fist into something.
Magdalena appeared behind me while I stood outside of her cottage, staring off into the trees in the direction of Sublune Creek. I’d told him to leave me, yet I felt unwarranted anger that he’d listened. Magdalena’s hand rested on my upper back.
“Will you be alright?” she asked.
I nodded.
