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“Shan!” I tried to make eye contact with him, but his eyes were shut tight. “Look at me!” I screeched.

When he did glance at me, something was off in his gaze. A zap cut through me like lightning, scrambling my thoughts and shutting off the world around me.

The taste of blood dominated my senses, my face and neck sticky as I pushed myself upright from a hard surface. My heart pounded in my ears, muscles nearly useless. Everything seemed to waver and spin as I forced my eyes open. There was a humming sound that ground on my nerves, cutting through my roaring pulse.

My skin unstuck from the ground, sweat dripping into my eyes as my vision finally cleared. Candlelight flickered around me, the shadows of the flames dancing on the ground where I lay.

And again, I was completely naked.

A pool of blood congealed on the ground beneath a body, entrails spilling out from a stomach ripped to shreds. Claw marks disfigured his once handsome face, and there was a gaping hole where his throat had been.

Shan. Oh my gods …

A shriek that could curdle milk poured in from the door, and I lurched to my feet, arms outstretched to plead my case. That it hadn’t been me. But my hands, all the way up to my elbows, were covered in blood.

The tinge of iron filled my nostrils, my world trying to split, the wolf fighting to come loose.

“What—?” I started to say. I looked at my hands then at Shan’s body. Dropping down beside him, I felt his face, his stomach. All ripped to shreds. Unsalvageable. Had I done this?

A sob tore through me.

“You— You mongrel!” the woman screamed from the door. “What have you done? What have you⁠—”

I couldn’t help myself. I growled at her, and she ran screaming down the corridors about mutts and feral beasts.

There were gaping holes in my memory, my thoughts leaking as I tried to recall what had occurred. I remembered walking into the alchemy workshop and nothing after that.

I grabbed an apron from the lab bench. It didn’t do much to cover me, but at least it was enough for me to try to get out of there. I needed to run. As I skidded into the hallway, my bare feet streaking the floor red, there were sentries racing toward me. “Halt!” one shouted.

I kept running. Everything swam, and one of the men grabbed my arm.

I forced back what I could, but the wolf took over. I was vaguely aware of shifting. Of my claws lashing out. Of panic. My mind was split and merged, scattering and reforming.

I couldn’t keep track of who or what I was. Someone screamed a name that was maybe mine. A familiar voice, a familiar scent. I stopped, only for something sharp to pierce my hide.

With another growl I tried to dash off, to leave the building, but everything felt as though it was happening underwater.

“Stop!” the familiar voice shrieked. “You’ll only make it worse. Don’t hurt her!”

Another sharp pain and my body gave out completely. I flopped to the ground, my teeth rattling and pain rippling through my head and face.

“Aura, you can control it. It’s just your defense mechanism. You can—” The voice faded until only my pulse could be heard in my ears.

Then the pain ceased along with any thoughts in my mind.

44

I DIDN’T DO IT

SYLVAN

The overwhelming need to leave pulled me straight from my sleep. Startled, Clover also lurched upright. Her eyes glowed subtly in the dark before fading. She rubbed her forehead, pushing hair from her face. “Are you alright?”

Each pump of my heart spoke one word—Aura. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “But I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Again, I shook my head. I climbed out of bed and paced the length of the room in front of it. Still, I couldn’t get the panic to subside. Aura, Aura, Aura, my heart chanted. Wrong, something inside of me screamed.