Page 27

Holding the note, there's a heavy weight in my chest. He knew exactly how crucial a few quiet moments alone would be for me, especially before an overstimulating day on a boat with the wedding party. But the tenderness of the gesture quickly fades away as the past comes to the forefront of my mind. How can the same guy who protects me fiercely in a busy crowd and anticipates my morning anxiety be the same person responsible for shattering me all those years ago?

I swallow past the thick lump in my throat, staring at the steam rising from the mug. I understand we need to have a conversation. I know we can’t keep dancing around the wreckage of what happened six years ago, forever. But sitting here in his room, surrounded by his scent, I'm just so angry. He doesn't get to just slide back into my life and be perfect when the scars he left behind are still this raw.

Shaking off the lingering pain, I decide it’s time to stop hiding and get ready for the day. I part my hair down the middle and weave it into two tight French braids. I slide on a black trucker hat, a dark pair of sunglasses, and the smallest black bikini in my entire collection. I look in the mirror as I pull on my bathing suit cover, take a deep breath, and head out the door.

I trail the very end of the group, purposely keeping my distance from everyone. As excited as I am to be out on the water, my mind is still trapped in the vicious cycle of my own thoughts. I feel deep internal pain as history pays me a visit. But the second we reach the end of the dock, my spiral grinds to a halt.

Before us is a massive, two-story party boat. My jaw drops, and I slide my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose just to make sure my eyes aren't deceiving me.

“Holy shit!” Christian yells out, his sheer disbelief shared by the rest of the crowd.

“Pretty sweet, right?” Cooper says, a proud grin splitting his face. “Who’s ready to party?!”

The captain greets us warmly as we step onto the luxurious vessel. The lower deck is incredible. A sprawling kitchen overflows with fresh fruit, platters of sandwiches, and an impressive lineup of premium liquors. Wrap-around leather couches and bar-top tables line the interior, right next to a private restroom. The upper deck is entirely open-air, exposed to the blistering sun with spacious bench seating.

The boat buzzes with excitement as everyone claims their spots, waiting for us to leave the dock. Cooper opens his phone and connects the Bluetooth to a DJ-style speaker setup, and a loud, upbeat party mix blares across the water.

“Everyone gather around!” Cooper shouts over the bass, expertly pouring tequila into a neat row of shot glasses. We all huddle into a tight circle as Ivy happily hands out the glasses one by one. Cooper lifts his shot glass, and we all follow his lead. “Here’s to a kickass day! Everyone, have fun and drink up!” A chorus of cheers echoes in unison. Bringing the glass to my lips, I toss the tequila back. The sharp, fiery burn catches in my throat, threatening to make me gag, but I swallow hard and force my face to remain blank. As the heat of the liquor radiates down into my stomach, a welcoming lightness washes over me. Feeling very aware of Drew’s presence nearby, I glance up, locking onto his eyes. Yeah, I think, setting the empty glass down. I definitely need another one.

I grab a cold mango hard seltzer from the metal tin full of ice on the bar and sneak away unnoticed to the upper deck. The open air hits me as I slide toward the furthest bench, laying my towel out across the warm vinyl. Reaching down, I grab the hem of my cotton dress and pull it up and over my head in one fluid motion, tossing it onto the floor. It leaves me completely exposed in my tiny black thong bikini. If this were any other day of my life, I might have felt self-conscious about wearing such a revealing swimsuit in front of a crowd. But today, I simply do not care.

I smooth a fresh layer of SPF over my body, letting the cool lotion sink into the heat of my skin. I set the bottle down, crack open my mango seltzer, and place it next to my water bottle on the bench, then lie down on the beach towel to tan. The bass of a country song from down below is vibrating the bench under me, making it easy to fall asleep.

More people join me on the upper deck as the afternoon stretches on. A few try to engage in small talk, but I force down the urge to reply with anything more than polite nods and smiles, desperately wanting to protect my peace. Eventually, I flip over from my back onto my stomach, hoping that by looking in the opposite direction, people will take the hint and stop coming up to talk to me.

“Damn! You're right, I definitely should have joined you in Pilates!” Ivy’s voice looms over me. “You look freaking hot, Cami.” She adds, with a wide smile.

I prop up on my elbows. “Whatever, Ivy, you're perfect.”

She’s also wearing a tiny thong bikini, though hers is a brilliant white with silver rhinestones, very bridal.

“No, really, your body is banging. I’m joining your class the second we get back from our honeymoon,” she says, casually taking a seat next to me.

“Alright, sounds good!” I chuckle.

“Hey, are you upset with me over that photo from last night?” Her tone shifts into something more serious.

I remove my sunglasses to meet her eyes. “No, of course not, Ivy.” I reassure her gently, “It’s not about the photo, it's what the photo meant. If he cared so much for me back then…then why did he do what he did?”

Her expression softens with sympathy. “I see you guys haven't talked yet.”

“This week isn't about me, Ivy. It’s about you and Cooper.”

“Oh, whatever!” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “This week is about love and happiness. Which I very much want for you.”

“I’m perfectly happy!” I smile, though the look she's giving me says she isn't buying it for a second.

“You guys are literally sharing a room. Just have the conversation already.” She pleads.

I let out a heavy sigh, dropping my head onto my arms. “We started to last night. But I got too emotional and shut it down. And now, after that photo… I’m just feeling angry.”

“Anger is good! That's a start.” She smiles, patting the top of my head. “And speaking of anger, I did see Cooper and Drew standing off to the side last night in a really deep conversation.”

I jerk upright, my eyes widening. “Did you ask Cooper what it was about?”

She bites her lip, a rosy blush creeping up her cheeks. “No… I'm sorry, I’m a terrible friend.” She puts her head in her hands, hiding a guilty smile. “Cooper and I didn't do much talking when we went up to our room last night… If you catch my drift.”

“Ivy!” I cover my eyes with my palms.