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It’s midnight, and it’s been two weeks since the accident. Lying awake in the dark, the weight of the silence finally becomes too much to bear. I reach over, pull my phone off the bedside table, and press the power button, bringing the screen back to life. The harsh glare blinds me for a second before notifications overflow the home screen. An overwhelming amount of texts and missed calls from my teammates, my coach, my old high school friends... and Cami.

I go straight to my voicemails, my thumb hovering over the play button. I hesitate, a nauseating dread settling in my stomach. I know that if I hear her voice, it will rip me apart. But I need to hear it. I take a deep, trembling breath and press play.

“Drew, I just heard about the accident,” her voice cries out from the speaker, frantic and terrified. “I’m on my way! Please, please be okay.”

A beep cuts the line, and the next one starts automatically.

“Drew, please don't do this. Please don't shut me out.”

Another beep.

“I can’t live without you. Please, Drew. Just call me back.”

Tears are falling down my face now, hot and uncontrollable, as I sit in the dark and listen to the heart of the girl I love be broken by my silence.

“Hey, it's me,” she says in the next recording, her voice exhausted, like she hasn't slept in days. “I miss you. I hope you’re okay. I’m just... I'm really worried about you. Please, Drew. Why are you doing this?” There’s a long pause, filled only by the sound of her soft crying before the line goes dead.

A jagged, suffocating sob rips through my throat, my chest heaving as I press the phone tighter against my ear for the final message.

“Hey, it’s me again…” She takes a shaky breath. “This will be my last message. I’ll leave you alone… for good. Take care of yourself, Drew. I love you… Goodbye.”

My phone is gripped tight in my hand, the crushing weight of my actions pressing down on my chest until I can barely breathe. I sink into the mattress, my body vigorously shaking as sobs pour from me.

I love you. The words loop on a continuous reel in my mind, spoken in her shattered, heartbroken whisper. I stay paralyzed in the dark, the sickening realization settling deep into my bones. I never got the chance to tell her that I love her, too. And now, I might never get to say it at all.

CHAPTER 16

Camille

DAY 5: PRACTICE & PASTA

The sun is setting, painting the sky in an array of orange, pink, and gold as the bridal party and immediate families gather in the main courtyard, practicing the precise order for tomorrow’s entrance ceremony. Everyone is already dressed in their semi-formal attire for the rehearsal dinner scheduled to follow immediately after. The groomsmen and bridesmaids are directed to walk separately down the aisle, and it takes everyone about three tries to nail down the timing and get perfectly in sync with the violinist.

The white canopy is already set up for tomorrow’s reception. Beneath the tent, rows of long wooden tables stretch across the space, beautifully arranged for tonight's dinner. They will be serving a variety of artisan pastas, fresh salads, toasted bruschetta, and bottles of red and white wine. The air is already thick with the mouthwatering aroma of roasted garlic and olive oil as the caterers hustle to finish setting up.

Everyone is mingling while I step away to find myself a glass of white wine and catch my breath for a few moments. I had to go heavy on the concealer to hide my puffy, bloodshot eyes. At least I'm not the only one wearing the evidence of an emotional night. Across the lawn, Drew's eyes mirror my own exactly. It’s been a few hours since we dug into the depths of our past, six years of pain and grief that we’ve both carried, laid out in the open. My heart is filled with a throbbing pain, aching for the two kids who lost their way. But standing here, watching my wine catch the last rays of the sun setting over the lake, I begin to realize something. It was always supposed to happen this way. He needed to figure out who he was without football, and, unfortunately, he had to do it entirely alone. Looking back, I was still only in high school and he was in college. There wouldn't have been much I could’ve done for him, but it’s him vanishing that has killed me all these years.

I’m leaning over the wooden rail, deep in thought, looking out over the rippling water when I hear soft footsteps approaching from behind.

“Hey.” Cooper's voice cuts out from behind me. “Needed a time out?”

A soft smile tugs at my lips as I look over my shoulder. “You know me so well.”

“I do,” he whispers, stepping up to rest his forearms on the rail beside me. He studies my face for a beat before his expression softens. “And I can see you're hurting.”

“I’m okay, really” I say, even though my eyes betray me. It isn't a lie, just a half-truth.

“I need to apologize to you, Cami.” He whispers.

My eyes snap to his. The confident, goofy, protective older brother I’ve always known is gone, replaced with a face of sorrow and regret.

“I wasn’t a good brother to you when everything happened,” Cooper says, his voice shaking slightly.

“Cooper, you don’t have to–”

“No, Cami, let me say this.” He cuts me off gently, looking out over the water.

“I saw you in pain, heartbroken, begging me to tell you what was going on with Drew, and I chose to leave you in the dark. I’m half the reason your heart stayed broken for so long.” He lets out a shaky sigh. “I guess I never fully realized the extent of your guys’ relationship. I didn't know how serious it was until that picture from the other night. The way he looked at you, way before you guys even started seeing each other. It’s the same way I look at Ivy.” His eyes turn glassy. “It was love.”