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Alex exchanges a look with Marcus before reaching across the table to lay his hand over mine, stopping my restless fingers against the glass. I look up, meeting his eyes.
“Cami, you rekindled that flame in a week because the foundation was already there,” Alex says gently. “Distance doesn't erase that. You're catastrophizing because it feels safer to expect the worst than to trust that he actually means what he promised you.”
Marcus nods in agreement, offering a comforting smile as Alex continues. “Think about it from his perspective, too. He's stuck in a jungle, probably frustrated out of his mind that he can't call the girl he’s losing his mind over. That text he sent you? He’s trying to hold onto you just as tightly as you’re holding onto him.”
“He's right,” Marcus chimes in, taking a sip of his drink. “If the man didn't want this, he wouldn't be climbing onto tin roofs in the middle of a snake-infested rainforest just to get enough service to send you a picture of the stars.”
Alex points his straw at me. “Exactly. Drew has been crazy about you since he was sixteen, Cami. Six weeks of terrible WiFi isn't going to change that.”
I stare at Alex’s hand over mine, letting his words sink past the panic in my chest. He’s right, I am just trying to protect myself by expecting the worst.
“You're right,” I whisper, a small smile breaking through. My heart warms at the image of Drew impatiently hunting for cell service just to check in on me. “I am assuming the worst. It's just...when I'm alone, the silence makes the doubts so incredibly loud.”
I take a long sip of my margarita. “Thank you. Both of you. I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear that out loud.”
“We are always here for you.” Alex smiles from across the table.
“Yeah,” Marcus agrees, leaning in. “In fact, we should make a point to do this weekly, just to catch up on life.” He looks between Alex and me, his eyes bright with affection. It hits me right then and there; I just made two lifelong friends.
“I’d love that.”
CHAPTER 21
Camille
It’s Monday morning, and I’ve survived my first week back in reality—only five more to go. Feeling a bit lighter than I did last week, I stop at my local coffee shop to grab a vanilla iced latte before heading into work.
When I walk into my library branch, the familiar smell of old hardback books and fresh-brewed coffee greets me. I set my bag down behind my desk, fire up my laptop, and clip on my staff badge to start the day.
“Good morning, Cami,” Maggie says cheerfully, practically skipping over to my desk. “You have mail.”
My brows furrow in confusion. I look down as she hands me a thick, sealed white envelope. Written across the front is just my name. No postage stamp, no return address, and no sender name.
“Where did you get this?” I ask, inspecting the weathered envelope in my hands, thoroughly confused by what I'm holding.
“It was in our mailbox when I did my morning check.” Maggie shrugs, leaning against the desk counter. “No stamp or anything. Someone must have slid it in over the weekend.”
My fingers tremble slightly as I slide them under the seal, tearing the envelope open. I expect a single note, but instead, a thick stack of folded papers slides out onto the desk. My brows crease as I look at them. They aren't new. The edges of some are slightly worn, written on a variety of different kinds of paper. Lined notebook pages, hotel stationery, and postcards of world destinations. At the top of each page is a neatly penned date.
I pick up the first one, my eyes scanning the familiar handwriting I haven't seen in years. The date being July 27th. My nineteenth birthday.
My heart falls to my stomach. I rapidly flip through the rest of the stack, my breath catching in my throat as the dates unfold before me. There is one dated on the grim anniversary of his accident. Another from the month he found out I’d landed my job as a librarian. A postcard from Rome, just days after Cooper and Ivy set their wedding date, titled "The day I found out I’m going to see you again."
They are love letters. Dozens of them. An archive of unsent devotions he had kept hidden.
“Cami?” Maggie’s voice sounds distant, her cheerful demeanor melting into concern as she notices the tears welling in my eyes. “What is it? Are you okay?”
I can't even answer her. I just stare at the ink. Six years of silence, six years of separation, and the entire time, he had never stopped thinking about me.
November 3rd, 2021
Dear Camille,
Today marks one year since my world came crumbling down. I was injured to the point of never being able to step foot on a football field again. But, what hurts the most… It’s been a year since I broke your heart. I shut you out, I couldn't let you see how broken I was. I still am—every day is a constant reminder that you are gone, and so is the career I was betting on to support you and support my mom. I can’t do this anymore, Cami. I can't be on this campus and watch my dream continue without me. I decided to move to Colorado for a little while. My mom's sister lives there. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I get there, but it can't be any worse than how I feel being trapped here on this campus. I miss you, I miss you so much it hurts. Sometimes I listen to your voicemails just to hear your voice, even though they destroy a piece of me every time. You deserve the world; I wish I had been strong enough to give it to you. I’ll forever wonder, what if? Anyways, you will probably never read this. But it feels good to write to you, it makes me feel close to you in a way. I hope you’re well and enjoying your senior year of high school. I love you, forever.
Drew
One hand flies to my mouth, the other shaking so violently I can barely hold the paper. The tears come instantly, blurring my vision. I love you. He said it. He said I love you five years ago. For years, I forced myself to believe the lie I told myself, that he never cared, that he never loved me. I set the letter down and picked up the next.
