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I press my palms between my knees and try to breathe normally. What would I even say to him?

Nikolai, I’m pregnant.

The words sound impossible in my head. He has a daughter already. His wife is dead. His entire life is complicated enough without adding an unexpected baby and me to it.

Then I think of Anya in the hospital bed, asking for me.

I think of Nikolai carrying her out of the house, his face empty with fear. I think of the way he looked at me when I gave her the rabbit, as though he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

Would he think I had trapped him? Would he worry that I expected him to marry me? I don’t even know what we are now. We sneak around the house, leave rooms separately, and pretend nothing is happening whenever Anya is nearby. We have never discussed what would happen if this became more than sex.

I look at the clock.

Five minutes have passed.

I stand and walk to the counter.

There are two pink lines. I hold the test closer, then check the instructions again. The second line is faint, but it’s there.

My stomach drops.

I sit down on the closed toilet and keep staring at it.

Pregnant.

The thought arrives slowly, followed by a rush of fear so strong that I press my hand over my mouth. I want to cry, but nothing comes. I can only sit there, trying to imagine a future that has changed without asking me.

A baby. Nikolai’s baby.

I look down at my stomach, which is completely flat beneath my clothes. Nothing looks different. Nothing feels different. Yet everything has changed.

After a while, I reach for my phone.

It’s not in my pocket.

I check the counter, the sink, and the floor beside the toilet. Then I empty my bag onto the tiles and search through everything twice.

The phone is gone.

27

NIKOLAI

Anya is asleep in the hospital bed, one hand curled around the rabbit Elara bought for her.

I sit beside her with my jacket over the back of the chair and watch the monitor rise and fall with her breathing. The cut on her forehead has been stitched, but the skin around it is still swollen. Every time she moves, I look up.

I sent Sergei home an hour ago.

He calls while I am looking at the door.

“Tell me you found something,” I say.

“We found more footage from the house,” Sergei replies. “The CCTV was tampered with again. Someone removed several minutes from the west corridor and the back entrance.”

“Who had access?”

“We’re checking that now. There’s something else. One of the cameras caught Irina coming into the house early this morning.”