Page 177

My gaze finds Jude, who's watching me from across the table. As soon as our eyes meet, his smile fades slightly.

You okay? he mouths.

I nod, even as a tear slips free and makes its way down my cheek. His eyes follow it, and I give him a small smile.

This is okay.

Pain and happiness can coexist. They'll have to.

I'm doing it, Dami. I'm having fun.

My smile wobbles as I look at the people gathered around me.

But I'll never stop wanting you here with me.

The song ends, and everyone erupts into cheers.

“Make a wish!” Mia yells.

I look down at the twenty-seven candles flickering in front of me. Last year, I know exactly what I would've wished for.

Him.

One more day, one more hour or even one more fucking minute. I would've taken anything, if only someone could've given him back to me.

I close my eyes and take a breath, wondering what I'm supposed to wish for now. I don't know what the next year will bring or what I want my life to look like, but maybe, for the first time, I don't need to have all the answers.

I lean forward and blow out the candles.

Everyone cheers again, and I laugh as I wipe the tear from my cheek. Then an arm wraps around my shoulders, and before I even turn, I know who it is.

Jude pulls me against his chest, and I go willingly, wrapping my arms around his waist and letting myself have the comfort of his embrace.

He doesn't ask what's wrong or tell me not to cry. He simply holds me while I close my eyes and breathe, his hand resting against my back as the celebration carries on around us.

“I'm okay,” I whisper against his chest.

His arm tightens around me.

“I know.”

I smile and hold him a little tighter.

“Can we eat the cake now?”

Mia's voice breaks through the moment, and I laugh against Jude's chest before pulling away.

“Yes, sweetheart. We can eat the cake now.”

“Finally,” Jace says.

“Nobody was stopping you,” Grace tells him.

“It's rude to eat birthday cake before the birthday girl.”

Grace stares at him. “You took your shirt off in a bar thirty minutes ago.”

“Those are completely unrelated.”