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I don't even know why I keep doing it. I just can't bring myself to cancel it.

Eventually, I look away from the screen and back at the house. Then I attach the picture I've just taken, along with some of the photos and videos from yesterday. Nonna Carmela, the entire family, the ridiculous amount of food and Zio Nino showing up at our hotel at seven in the fucking morning.

My finger hovers over the screen before I finally press send.

Nora: Thought you'd want to see this.

I almost lock my phone immediately, but three little dots appear before I can.

My heart starts pounding.

Dami's Mom: Oh Nora! Thank you! It's so nice to hear from you again.

Guilt grips me.

They always treated me like a daughter, and I disappeared on them. Not because I stopped loving them, but because every message, every photograph, every familiar name reminded me that their son was gone.

And I couldn't bear it.

I start typing.

I'm sorry.

Delete.

I didn't mean to disappear.

Delete.

What the hell am I supposed to say after sixteen months?

Another message appears.

Dami's Dad: We missed you.

Fuck.

A tear slips down my cheek, and I wipe it away with the back of my hand before typing the only thing I know how to say.

Nora: I missed you too.

I stare at those four words for a moment, then glance at the pictures I've just sent. Zio Nino's proud face catches my eye, and despite everything, I smile.

Nora: Zio Nino forced his brioche e granita on all of us at seven in the morning!

The reply comes almost immediately.

Dami's Dad: Tell me you have pictures.

I laugh.

Of course he wants pictures.

I send the ones from this morning. Dex looking half dead, Lexy hiding behind her sunglasses and Jude staring suspiciously at his granita before I taught him how to eat it.

I'm still smiling when Chiara comes to stand beside me. She glances at my phone, then looks at me.

“You messaged them?”