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I just wanted to deal with the elephant in the room. My name carried a marital prefix. But I wasn’t married, but I didn’t want him to think I was divorced. I didn’t know why I cared, except that he was here. For tonight, I didn’t want to be alone. “I’m not divorced.”
He rested his forearms against the edge of the counter, and an easy smile found his lips. “I’m not either.”
I bit into my bottom lip and let it pop free. “Jeff was killed in a car accident.”
Why didn’t I say Jeff and Matti both lost their lives?
The smile fell from his lips, and his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Tell him about her. Tell him my baby was sweet and loving, and beautiful. She was mine, and he had her.
Words stuck in my mouth as I leaned against the counter. The coffee maker gurgled behind me. “Not that I’d wish him dead, but our marriage was definitely over. He wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
“Sounds familiar. I’m sure my soon-to-be ex would sympathize.”
The moment passed. I’m sorry, baby girl. I kept her a secret. I wasn’t ready to share my grief with a stranger.
“Can I be honest with you?” I turned and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. “You’re not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
I shrugged. “Not someone who rides up on a Harley, battles the elements, and makes sure I get home safely. You’re practically a superhero.”
“Nah. Just at the right place at the right time.”
“According to Lili, you are.”
“She’s a bit biased.”
This was safe. I loved teaching, loved my students, but Lili was a light in the darkness. She reminds me so much of you, Matilda Mae.
“She couldn’t stop talking about you today. She told me how you live at the motorcycle club, that you sometimes drive a hearse, and how someone named Rogue looks mean because he blows cigarette smoke out of his nose. When I teased that he must look like an ornery bull, she clarified that no, it was her mom’s boyfriend who was ornery. Since I’ve met Henri on several occasions, I couldn’t help but laugh.”
“How long have you been teaching?” He continued to squeeze water from his hair, but our clothes were drenched and dripping.
“This is my third year.” I filled the coffee mugs. “What do you do?”
He set the towel in his lap. “I’ve been working construction for the last year. Before that, I was mostly getting into trouble.”
I pinched my brows together and smiled. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“I’m reformed.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Do you have a restroom I can use?”
I nodded. “This way.” I led him out of the kitchen and through the dining room. He paused at the clusters of papers on the dining room table.
“A project I’m working on,” I said. “There’s a bathroom through there.” I pointed to the closed door on the left, opposite the grand staircase to the upper floor bedrooms. “I’m going to change.”
He disappeared into the bathroom, and I rushed up the stairs two at a time because I’d needed to pee since the cemetery. My bare feet clung to the polished wood. I threw open my bedroom door, trampled across the thick, plush carpeting, and rushed into my en suite.
My fingers trembled as I peeled my jeans down my legs. Oh my god, even my panties were soaked and the dewy mess had nothing to do with the rain but everything to do with the man in my kitchen making me wet.
What was wrong with me? My heart fluttered, and heat seeped low in my belly. I needed a moment to catch my breath. Two minutes later, I entered my walk-in closet debating what to change into.
This was crazy. I was foolish. He was getting divorced, and I was widowed. I hadn’t had sex in so long. Anyone else would be a better option than Lili’s dad. What was I thinking? He might only want a cup of coffee. I was making a lot of assumptions for someone who’d only been nice.
Touching him, holding onto him on the bike, the wind and the rain had all purged something from inside me. It had been so long since I’d felt anything but anger and regret. Tonight felt different. Part of it was fear, but the rest was raw and achy. I needed someone who wouldn’t think about me tomorrow. Someone who wouldn’t catch feelings. As my best friend Holly would say, someone who would be down to fuck and then walk away.
I was making disparaging postulations about Brett Steele, but I’d heard enough from Lili, stories that shouldn’t have been repeated, to know that he wasn’t one for societal norms.
