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My pelvis jerked, grinding into his hand. He pressed the edge of his thumb to my clit. A low wail crawled up my throat and escaped my mouth as waves of pleasure rippled through me. “Brett,” I gasped. My mind numbed, and my body convulsed. I bent forward, collapsing into him as my knees weakened, and my legs gave out.

“Good girl.” He pulled me onto his lap. With his gaze on mine, he licked my juices from his fingers. “Condom,” he said, and I froze.

“A condom?” My mind scrambled in a thousand different directions. I didn’t want to be reckless, but I didn’t want to stop. “I…I don’t have one.”

He lifted me off his lap, and I slid onto the couch. He stood and headed toward the kitchen in the darkened house.

I clambered onto my knees. “Are you leaving?”

“Nah, baby, I’m staying.” He smiled. “Until you ask me to go.”

As soon as he was out of the room, I grabbed the quilt from the rocking chair in the corner. I tossed a couple throw pillows onto the thick rug in front of the fire, refilled my whiskey glass, and took another shot of liquid courage.

What was wrong with me? I hadn’t considered protection. Even if I should be worried about pregnancy, I wasn’t. I’d only had a handful of periods since Matti’s death. My doctor said it was due to stress, that my body and brain were in survival mode.

Yet here I was ready to climb onto Brett’s lap and slide down his cock. I wasn’t sure he’d fit but he’d awakened something inside me that I never thought I’d feel again. Wrapped in the blanket, I sat in front of the fire and watched the flames dance and flicker.

Condoms. Jeff had used them for a couple of months when we’d first started having sex. But that hadn’t lasted long and that was how we got Matti. We were so young and stupid. I’d been ridiculously in love with him. After we were married, I’d never worried about pregnancy because I’d wanted more kids.

I’d wanted a family.

I’d had almost two years to reflect on my relationship with Jeff. I’d been so blind. He’d been my only sexual partner. I thought I’d only been his. I hadn’t realized I’d need protection from Jeff’s infidelity.

“You still with me.” Brett tossed two condoms onto the coffee table next to the bottle of whiskey.

He carried condoms? He really was a boy scout. I wanted to ask him if he did this often? Hooked up with randoms, but honestly, I didn’t care. As I gazed up at him standing over me, I let the blanket slip from my shoulders. Heat from the fire surrounded me. Golden firelight cast long shadows in the room. Something dark and dangerous flickered in his eyes as his gaze raked over my body.

Brett pushed the sweats over his hips and down his thighs. His cock thrust forward from a thatch of dark, neatly groomed hair. I rose onto my knees and finished pushing the sweats to the floor.

I swallowed the extra saliva in my mouth. He was rugged muscle covered in ink. A deep scar cut a thick line across his thigh and down to his knee. I traced the jagged edge with my fingertip, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his cock. The veins darkened, and fluids seeped from the slit. I licked my lips, teetering between wanting him in my mouth and begging him to nail me to the floor.

“What do you want?” He repeated my earlier words back to me. I wanted this. Him. Me. Tonight.

“I want a taste,” I whispered. I wanted to remember what it was like to have sex. I wanted to be touched. For tonight, I didn’t want to feel empty inside. “I want you to talk dirty to me.”

Muscles in his abdomen contracted, and his cock jumped. “Suck my dick, baby, because once I fuck your throat, I’m going to pound the fuck out of your tight little pussy.”

I smiled and braced one hand on his hip. With the other hand, I traced the vein snaking along the shaft until I reached the base of his cock. I closed my fist around him. The soft, warm skin slid along the steely hardness beneath. While staring into his eyes, I closed my mouth over the head.

“Fuck.” He tunneled his fingers into my hair, cradled my skull, and hissed a ragged breath. “Open that pretty mouth.”

Opening wider, I wrapped my lips around the girth, swirled my tongue around the frenulum, and lapped the slit while I pumped my fist. He thrust his hips, forcing more of his cock into my mouth. I choked, ripping my mouth away, gasping a breath, then trying again to take more of him.

“You look so good on your knees with my cock in your mouth.” His praise had me bobbing on his cock, wanting to please him. His grip tightened on my head, and his cock pulsed in my mouth.

My nostrils flared as I tried to take a breath. Spit dripped on my chin and slipped through my fingers. With his cock filling my mouth, I sputtered and gagged. My nails dug into the back of his thigh.

“Fuck.” He jerked his cock from my mouth, snatched the condom from the coffee table, and sat on the floor next to me. “Give me a minute,” he whispered. “If you touch me, I’ll come.”

He slanted his lips over mine. I was wet with spit and riding the edge of arousal. My breasts were warm and heavy, and my nipples ached.

As he kissed me, he slowly lowered me to the rug. Once stretched out next to me, he mapped my body with touch and taste. I felt him everywhere. His lips on my neck, his hand on my hip, and his chest hovering over mine.

Brett leaned up on one elbow and tore the condom wrapper with his teeth. Once he had the rubber stretched over his dick, my thighs spread, and he settled between them. Braced on one arm, he notched my opening.

My heart raced, and my body tensed.

“Relax, baby.”