Page 57

Fuck it. Tonight, I needed one. I slid one out of the box. He lit mine then lit his own.

I sighed with the first hot hit of nicotine. There were only a few bikes in the yard. We headed toward my Harley. I took another long hit off the cigarette. Smoke curled around my fingers and swirled into the night air.

Once we were a few feet from the oil drum, Kodiak said, “I walked out on the job.” He glanced over his shoulder then back to me. “Fuck them. I’m out. Apparently, they want to impress upon me that it’s in my best interest to meet with them.”

“Who are they and meet with whom?”

“The assholes that work for bigger assholes. I’m better off far from anyone with the last name Bruno and anyone who works for them.” His jaw clenched as he took a drag off his cigarette. “That includes Tank and Cruz.”

“Why’d you walk?”

Two streams of smoke escaped his nose. “Because I’m not cut out to follow orders.”

“Crawlers had rules. You didn’t seem to have a problem with those.”

“Their rules were the same as mine.” He squinted into the night sky. “The cut is tight, brother. Except for Bullet, I don’t got anything in common with this club.”

“You just like fucking Bullet’s kittens.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I do.” He flicked ash from his cigarette to the ground. “I got no problem with Bullet. But I can’t say that about some of the others. I don’t feel like I belong with the Hellers.”

“This is what we wanted. You, me, and Vega went through a lot to get here. Why would you want to throw that away?”

“I have no respect for our SaA. I think Jazzy’s a cunt. Blade might as well make her prez. She thinks being Rogue’s old lady makes her untouchable. Hana’s a bitch. I’d fuck Pippa, but I got too much respect for Dozer. I’m just not a fan of his old man.”

I inhaled my cigarette. This conversation had gone off the rails.

“Torch is okay,” he continued. “But I think Romeo’s a pussy. I like his girl. She’s fucking hot, but I wouldn’t fuck her. Unlike you, I don’t have a thing for mothers.”

“I don’t have a kink for moms.” Only one. I wondered if she’d thought about me over the past week the way I’d thought about her. I’d have crossed her mind when she was with Lili. For me, I couldn’t think about one without thinking about the other. Maybe it was the same for Jaymi.

“I’m just saying I like her more than the others. She’s sweet and docile.”

“Nah. Fuck that. She’s a fierce little mother bear. But it shouldn’t matter. You shouldn’t be talking shit on your club. It’s disrespectful to the patch, to your brothers.”

“Hellers aren’t my brothers.”

“But I am.” I pointed to the patches on his cut. “And those says they are, too.” I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. “Work for Bullet, fuck his kittens full-time at Good Girls, and stay away from the board. Keep your distance from Tank and Cruz. You’ve got me and Vega and Bullet. Pike is solid. Give it time. You’ll see. This is where we belong.”

“This is where you belong,” he said. “And you looked good with Jaymi.”

“I don’t think she looked good with me.” Saying the truth about what I’d been thinking was hard to hear. “I wouldn’t be good for her.” I might not wear a tie or have a stock portfolio, but I would’ve been good to her. “Nothing more to say. It was over before it ever started.”

“Clover will be happy to hear it.”

I chuckled. “You can keep the kittens, including Clover, in your sandbox.”

“Speaking of Bullet’s kittens,” he said. “I ran into Scarlett. She’s living with her sister, Skye, over in Shady Valley.”

“Jesus. Does Bullet know?” Pimp life suited Bullet until he’d wifed up his old lady. Both sisters were Bullet’s whores until he cut Skye loose for fucking clients behind his back. Her sister went with her.

“Nah, but I mentioned it to Clover. She made it clear the sisters wouldn’t be welcomed around the MC.” He smirked. “They got no love for Bullet and Hellers either.”

We headed back into the MC. Kodiak called it a night, and I went behind the bar. I grabbed my phone and scanned the last few messages. Last week, Jaymi hadn’t responded with more than a word or two, and when she hadn’t initiated any messages of her own, I’d quit texting her. I hated that we were over before we ever really got going, but I understood. She wasn’t ready for more. Fuck. Neither was I. But I still wanted more with her.

Maybe I should reach out one more time, let her know that the door doesn’t have to permanently close. Before the hour grew too late and she’d be sleeping, I sent her a text message. This would be my last. It had to be because I wasn’t going to force something that wasn’t there for her.

Brett: No pressure and no need to respond. I just wanted to check in a last time and let you know I’m here if you need anything.