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“I’ll be right back.” I fled from the kitchen, rushed up the stairs, and sought the sanctuary of my room. Tears swam in my eyes. Inhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Oh my god. My heart pounded against my ribs. Breaths came fast and shallow. Box breathing wasn’t doing anything.

I couldn’t fix this. I couldn’t breathe. I was scared. Petrified. A sob climbed up my throat. I’d never be able to let go of my fear. I’d never be able to trust that he really wanted me and the baby. In less than two months, we’d gone from barely knowing each other, to spending every night in bed together.

I threw open the French doors leading to the balcony. The cool air chilled my flesh. I tipped my face to the darkened sky. “I don’t know how to do this.” I wasn’t sure who I spoke to. Maybe Jeff because I’d once had to say the same thing to him. Or maybe I just needed not to hear my own inner voice taunting me.

Tears soaked my cheeks. I couldn’t regret the baby, but God, I regretted getting pregnant now.

A knock sounded on the door. My tummy somersaulted, leaving me queasy and shaky. With quick swipes of my fingers, I dried my cheeks and walked back into my room. “Holly?”

The door opened. It wasn’t Holly. For two beats of my heart, our gazes met and held. A rush of heat bloomed in my chest, and my eyes flooded with tears again. I covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t swallow the regret. I couldn’t hide my fear.

In an instant, Brett was beside me. “What’s going on? Did something happen with the lawyers?”

I shook my head. Astrid had accepted the settlement. I never had to think about her again.

“Baby, you’re scaring me.”

The way he called me baby broke something inside me. This wasn’t how I wanted the conversation to go. I wanted to feel strong and confident when I talked to him. I wanted to be sure of my decisions. I was none of those things.

“Breathe with me.” He inhaled with the count of four. God, this man. Why did he have to be so perfect? How had he seeped so deeply into me? And why had I allowed myself to fall so hard?

“I’m okay. It was just a long day. I was worried about Lili. Her tears broke my heart.” Another wave of emotions surged through me. I sucked in a sharp inhale. “You should be with her. She needs you.”

“Jaymi, she has me. I’ll see her tomorrow.” He tunneled his fingers into my hair. “None of that explains what’s going on here. Talk to me.”

I blinked hard. “We should go down to the kitchen. The asparagus is going to burn.”

“I pulled it out of the oven.”

“Then we should eat. The chicken is done.”

“Dinner can wait.”

I stared into his eyes. He was beautiful and wild and strong. But there was a softness about him that left me weak. “Holly is waiting,” I whispered.

“Holly called for a rideshare. She said she’d talk to you tomorrow morning when she comes back for her car.”

“She left? She was going to stay over tonight.” I tried to slip around him, but he grasped my elbow. I stilled with his touch against my flesh. I lowered my gaze as his fingers trailed down my arm, and he took my hand in his.

“She didn’t have to say anything for me to know something is wrong. What’s going on? If you want a girls’ night, just tell me. I would’ve stayed at the MC. You knew I’d be over after I dropped off Lili.”

“I thought you’d keep Lili with you at the MC.”

“Not without talking to you first. You’re up here crying, and your best friend looks like she’s seen a ghost.”

I was afraid to see the accusations. I’d deceived him. Unintentionally, but I’d lied by omission. I was supposed to take the morning-after pill.

I forced him to take a step back as I shifted away from him. I couldn’t have his hands on me, I couldn’t feel the warmth of his whispered words against my flesh, and I couldn’t look in his eyes because nothing he said would assuage my guilt.

Brett sat on the end of the bed and clasped his hands between his knees. Silence lingered between us. “Just say it,” he finally said, his sharp-edged voice cutting through the tension.

My heart slammed against my ribs. Nothing could hurt worse than losing Matti. “I’m pregnant.”

He released an audible exhale. “Oh, thank fuck.”

“What? I’m pregnant,” I said a bit louder. “I don’t know what to do. I’m freaking out, Brett.”

“Baby.” He surged off the bed, and then his arms were around me. “I thought you were breaking it off between us. You’ve been quiet and on the verge of tears all evening. And then I find you up here, and you won’t look at me.”