Page 5

Chapter 2

Rubbing the back of his neck, Tucker let out a yawn, thankful that the end of his shift had finally arrived. Between a fire at an apartment complex, a car accident, and what had almost been a fatal accidental drowning, he’d suffered through a hard twenty four hours.

Pulling himself out of the chair, he grunted out a few orders to his crew before saying his goodbyes and heading for the door.

“Tuck!” One of the paramedics, Cecilia, called, rushing to his side. Stopping in his tracks, he turned just enough to let her know she had his attention. “Hey,” she smiled, trying to catch her breath. “You heading out?”

“That was the plan.” He replied gruffly.

“Me too,” Cecilia’s shaky tone revealed her nervousness. “I was thinking that maybe we could go and grab breakfast or something. I mean, that’s if you don’t already have plans.”

Tucker had been patiently waiting for the moment to arrive when Cecilia finally made her infatuation with him known. There were small things here and there that hinted to it, but never anything concrete until her breakfast invitation.

“Maybe next time, alright?” He suggested, attempting to let her down as easily as possible. During the ten years he’d been employed at Firehouse 32, he’d never crossed the professional and personal boundary with a coworker, and he wasn’t about to start.

Tucker noted the hint of embarrassment that flashed in her eyes as she looked around to see if anybody overhead their exchange.

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly, running a hand through her hair. “Next time.” Forcing a smile, Cecilia took off, and Tucker continued on his way before he could be stopped by anyone else.

He was off for the next two days, and planned to spend at least one and a half of them sleeping. It didn’t take him long to get home, and after lugging his duffle bag from the truck, he jogged up the front porch and used his key to let himself inside.

The sight on the other side almost made him wish that he’d taken Cecilia up on her offer and dragged one of the other fighters along so she wouldn’t get the wrong impression.

“Hey,” the woman standing in the living room greeted awkwardly, standing up straight.

“Hey,” Tucker replied, rooted in place. Taking in the chocolate beauty, he noted that his heart wasn’t racing the way it usually did when his eyes landed on her. The wide, round eyes that were usually full of laughter, were solemn and dull, and even the small smile she gave him was cold and forced.

“I thought you were on shift.” The way she nervously dug the toe of her tennis shoe into the hardwood floor brought attention to the suitcases and duffle bags next to her.

“Just finished.” He cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from the floor. Pulling himself together, Tucker somehow willed his feet to move forward. “I won’t get in your way. Leave the key on the table when you’re done.”

“So, that’s it?”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he halted. “Moe, don’t do this.” He begged. “You ended this relationship.”

“Bullshit!” She stomped over to him, yanking his arm around so they were face to face. “I gave you a choice. And you chose to let me go!”

“I didn’t push you out of this house, Moe.” Tucker reminded her. “You willingly walked away from both me and this relationship.”

“Why?” She questioned, placing her hands on her hips.

“I’m not doing this with you.” He attempted to continue back to his room, but she wasn’t allowing it.

“No.” She commanded, allowing her tears to fall. “You’ve avoided this for a year, and the least you can do is have the decency to allow me the closure I need.”

“What the hell do you want from me, Monae?” He barked, allowing the bag to fall from his shoulder to the ground. “Huh? What is it that you want me to say?”

“I want the man that I fell in love with to open his eyes and realize that everything we’ve worked towards and built together is crumbling!” She argued back, her small hands pushing against his chest. “For him to wake up and remember that I’m what he wants and needs!” Removing her hands from his chest, Monae dropped her eyes to the ground and lowered her voice. “I want you to go back to being the man that you used to be.”

The pain in her voice wrapped itself around his heart, twisting harshly. To say that Tucker didn’t still care for the woman standing in front of him would be a lie, they’d spent too much time together not to.

However, he also knew that he couldn’t be what she needed, and that’s why he didn’t bother to stop her months before when she walked out of the door and subsequently, his life. What she wanted, and what he could give, were two different things, and neither of them were to blame.

Tucker couldn’t get past the traumatic loss that changed his very being, and he knew that Monae was tired of continuously trying to put together the pieces of the broken man that he’d become. She was fighting for something that he couldn’t give, and he was man enough to know that he couldn’t string her along and damage her further than he already had.

It wasn’t easy, but he’d finally come to terms with their demise, and felt she needed to do the same.

“I’m not that man anymore,” he replied dejectedly, his face a block of stone.