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“I did. I still do, sometimes. But I try to remind myself that I don’t do this for them. This is my calling, a gift I was blessed with. I may choose to share it from time to time, but it’s still mine. No one can take it away from me, and they damn sure can’t tell me what to do with it if they didn’t give it to me in the first place. If they like it, great. If not, also great,” Nyx shrugged. “As long as you’re not disrespectful about my shit, you can have whatever opinion you want.”
“Mmm,” I hummed, soaking her words in.
“But anyway, before I get too wrapped up in talking about it. In conclusion, I had a hard time finding a spot where I could be expressive and feel like the crowd would accept it. There are very few places that cater to us. So it became my goal to create that.”
“You’ll get it. You might have to fight through some bullshit to get there but I have faith in you, Nyx.”
Softening up, she shot me a small smile. “Thanks, Jamie.”
It grew quiet between the two of us, interrupted only when Nyx exhaled lightly. “I guess my car should be warm enough by now, huh?”
“Probably so.”
A confession was fighting to crawl out of me. I fought with everything I had to keep it buried. To keep myself buried. But the words wouldn’t settle. It was almost as if they pried my lips open themselves from the inside.
“I can play the piano,” I randomly revealed. “And guitar. The rest of the world swears that I can hold a note, and I'm pretty good at writing music. That’s what I’m passionate about,” I finally answered her question from way back when. “And that’s my secret for the night.”
There was a glimmer of adoration in Nyx’s eyes that suddenly had me proud of my confession. The nervousness and insecurity I felt about telling her melted just as quickly as it’d come.
Chuckling deeply, I added, “Actually, it’s my secret all the way across the board. People don’t get to see that side of me, for different reasons, but, yeah. That’s me. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this, but, you let me see you, so it’s only right to let you see me.”
“You’re right. And, I do see you, Jamie.”
“I see you too, Nyx.”
Another blanket of silence draped over us. This time, I was the one to break it.
“We should get you home. It’s getting late as hell.”
“Right,” she agreed, tugging on the car handle.
I walked her to her car to make sure she got in safely, then returned to mine. As promised, I followed her home and waited until she was safely inside before leaving.
Our conversation left me feeling perplexed. Most importantly, because I’d told her things, I’d never felt discussing with anyone else. To see me in my musical element, was to get the vulnerable part of me. I’ve never been comfortable exposing anyone to that.
I didn’t think the joy it brought to me was something anyone else could understand. But, watching the way Nyx lit up while talking about her love for poetry ignited something inside me.
The space and rapport we’d created felt safe. Safe enough for me to toe the line and see what happened. I wasn’t sure what direction the friendship Nyx and I were building was headed.
But, with the way things felt at the moment, I was down to find out.
Chapter Eleven
NYX
“I’m sorry, that man went through all that, and you didn’t at least invite him inside and jump his bones?” Rae’s eyes bulged as we leisurely walked down an aisle in Nickman’s.
“I didn’t know that I was supposed to give the goods up just because a man decided to be chivalrous.”
“I hate to bust your bubble, sweetheart, but that’s far beyond being chivalrous. You know he likes you, right?”
Rolling my eyes, I waved her off. “You have such a bad habit of making something out of nothing.”
“No, I tell you what it is. You just don’t like what you hear, so you choose to ignore me. But I suggest you open up your ears to hear this. That man likes you. And if I didn’t know any better, I would say that you like him too.”
“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing you know better. Huh?”
“You can lie to yourself all you want. But I know you. Y’all are in deep like, and that’s okay.”
