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“You—”
“Before you start to do too much, remember I ain’t afraid of your lil’ ass. Part of my job as your brother is to tell you what things are and what they aren’t. Jamie’s mother is only part of why you’re pushing him away, Nyx. Deep down, you don’t believe you deserve him and you’re capitalizing on the opportunity to run away from it.”
As much as I hated to admit it, my brother was right. Maybe I didn’t believe I deserved to be loved by someone as pure as Jamie. He deserved the world.
“I don’t know what to do, Linc,” I admitted, allowing myself a moment to be completely vulnerable. “I’ve already screwed things up. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to fix it.”
“Start by being honest, Nyx. Woman up and admit to him that you’re scared and allow him to do the rest. Emphasis on allow. Your last relationship put you in a position to have to fend for yourself, but this isn’t that. He wants to shoulder the burden for you. Let him. That’s what he’s here for and that’s what you wanted. Don’t be stupid and fumble it. There aren’t but a few good men out here and God sent you one. I don’t think you want to take the chance on what you might get next.”
I tossed another pillow at him and flipped him off as he finished his speech, but remained quiet while absorbing his words. I missed Jamie with every fiber of my being, but I was still unsure of whether we would work if his mother was committed to hating me.
And it seemed she was.
Chapter Twenty-Six
JAMES
“Remind me why we agreed to do this again?”
“Because your father needed help, and I wasn’t getting roped into it alone,” I muttered, straightening my back, and removing my protective goggles. “Plus I needed the distraction.”
“Nyx bout to be on my bad side too if she’s the reason you have me out here clipping trees at the ass crack of dawn.”
“Less talking and more cutting!” our dad hollered from his place in the yard.
“Don’t act like you aren’t secretly enjoying spending time with the old man.”
“I mean, I might,” Judah shrugged. “Don’t let him get wind of it though. I’d never live it down. He’s convinced it didn’t bother me that we weren’t speaking.”
“I’ma need you to grow up one of these days.”
“It’ll never happen. But seriously though, how are you holding up? You still haven’t heard from Nyx?”
“Not really. It’s fucking with me. I miss the hell out of that girl. Not to mention she’s had a lot on her shoulders, I’m worried about her. Xi gives me updates here and there but it’s nothing compared to seeing it with my own eyes.”
“I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but hopefully, you’re not taking it personally and looking at the situation from her point of view. Could you imagine trying to date her while you were in the middle of a legal situation and her father was the one leading the case against you?”
“I know how screwed up it is, Jude. But I wish she would have at least given me a chance to show her—”
“By the time you two finish yapping, I’d have the whole yard done,” our dad grumbled, making his way over and butting into our conversation. “What is the problem?”
“Jamie has women problems,” Judah wasted no time in throwing me under the bus.
“It’s one woman,” I corrected him.
“The one you mentioned not too long ago?”
“Yeah. Some things transpired, Mom’s involved, and we aren’t on speaking terms right now.”
“Now look, I might not be the perfect candidate to give advice on how to get your woman back since I never took it upon myself to retrieve mine after she left. And I have no idea which of you is at fault for y’all not speaking to each other. But if I learned anything from my experience, it’s this. If it was your fault, fix it. If it’s her fault and she comes around and tries to fix it, as long as it isn’t an unhealthy situation, let her. Don’t let stubbornness or pride keep you from someone you love. Alright?”
“Do you plan to follow your own advice?” Judah smirked, raising an eyebrow.
“Your mother’s put up with my shit for longer than any woman should’ve. She’s far better off without me and I’ve accepted that.”
“I don’t know, Pop,” I shrugged. “Seems like a cop out to me.”
“We’re talking about your problems. Not me and your mama. Now listen up because you’re only getting about two more minutes of conversation from me before we get back to this yardwork. Love is a lot of things, Jamie. Including patient. Don’t give up hope just because things aren’t unfolding on your time. Keep your mind and your heart open. And get your ass back to trimming these trees,” he grumbled, walking off.
