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“Are we talking friend or more than friend?”
Stevie knows that Noah is bi. It’s not public knowledge in that Noah doesn’t make it known to the press or everyone on his team, but she’s my friend, and Noah was okay with me sharing that with her after we became close.
“More than friends,” I say. “They went to that fancy hockey boarding school in Minnesota together and didn’t exactly end on good terms.”
“But he remained your mentor anyway?”
“It’s a long story, but yes.”
“Wow.” She takes a sip of her wine. “Just, wow.”
“That is a good word to describe the situation.”
“And what exactly is the situation now?”
I flop back down on the bed. “Confusing.”
“Are you going to share more details?”
I pause for another few seconds before I ask, “You won’t judge me, right?”
“You know I won’t. If you remember correctly, I’m in a relationship with a man who lets me explore my sexuality and kinks freely. That means we involve other couples and people we know in our sexual relationship. Anything you tell me is judgment free, and you know I will keep everything you say between us.”
“Okay, I’ll start from the beginning.” I tell Stevie about Noah’s attitude when we first arrived, about meeting Beck at the pool and getting drunk with him, how I found them yesterday morning in a stare down, the breathing exercise, my talk with Noah last night, and why I wanted to stay and keep Beck as a mentor. I finally ended on today’s session and the one orgasm to rule them all.
“Damn, girl,” Stevie says when I’m done. “That’s a lot.”
“I’m a bad person, right?”
“What? Why are you a bad person?”
“I looked at Beck when I—” I can’t even say it again. “For the first time in nine months, that’s how it happens?”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“How so? He’s my husband’s sort-of-ex.”
“Who he worked with to get you off.”
My cheeks flush. “It was part of the exercise.”
“Yes, and Noah agreed to it. He participated, and he didn’t leave, nor did he ask to stop. Do you think he was mad about what happened?”
“I don’t know if he knows I made eye contact with Beck when it happened.”
“Talk to him about it.”
“Stevie—”
“Don’t Stevie me. You’re at an intimacy retreat to not only get your groove back as a couple but also to learn how to communicate. You should go to Noah right now and get everything off your chest.”
I think about Noah’s accusation of me cheating on him the day I met Beck at the pool. I know he was mad and said he didn’t mean it, but…
“And if he hates me for it?”
“Noah could never hate you. Despite his flaws, that man loves you. He’s always worshiped the ground you’ve walked on—anyone with eyes can see that. But I think you two need to talk this out, because to me, even without being there or knowing everything, I don’t think you’re the only one who is feeling things for Beck.”
I sit up on the bed. “You think?”
