Page 109

I have the power to change my perspective. I have all the control, not him.

From here on out, I will define who I am, how I react to bad behavior, and decide what image I project to the world. He won’t make those decisions for me.

I will.

I think back to Gio’s advice. He said I should put Roman in his place by living my life to the fullest. He believed that would be my biggest clapback.

I’m not the same person I was a few weeks ago. I am renewed, I am a thriving palm tree, unshakable and strong. I’ll survive any storm. And I’ve found happiness with myself and separately with Gio.

Roman gabbles on. “We’ve got a good thing going with this online controversy. But you need to throw more jabs on social media, be over the top, try to hurt me, you know? If you do, our popularity will go through the roof!” Roman laughs like we’re business partners strategizing our next move.

“You want me to fight with you online?” I jolt at this notion, that Roman sought me out to ask, no, tell me, to play into our feud. He’s doing this for social-media likes and views.

He’s disgusting.

In contrast, Gio is actively protecting me from the online drama, even though it would help him professionally. Where Roman is a leech, Gio is selfless.

“How about a good punch in the face right now?” Roman waves me forward and leans toward me.

I glance around, trying to make sense of this ridiculous request.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got someone filming us.” Roman nods toward a group of bushes. Hidden behind the leaves is a cell phone facing in our direction. It catches the sunlight in its owner’s shaky grasp.

“Your new wife is going to film us fighting? What a honeymoon,” I deadpan.

Roman waves a hand. “Don’t look at her. Focus on me. Make it look natural.” He beckons me with curling fingers again. “But don’t hit me as hard as last time. Okay?” He takes a wider stance, mooring himself to the earth.

“You’re pathetic.” I shake my head.

“Come on. Don’t be so sensitive. This will be great,” he says.

The dummy almost looks happy. It’s like he never loved me at all.

How did I ever fall for this guy? I blame being starved for love. All this time, I only needed to love myself.

Then, in a climactic scenario which can only be describe as fate, Gio appears on a walkway, much farther away.

I stand up straighter as a revenge plan takes up residence in my mind. I know exactly how to show Roman I’m over him and living my best life. Better, I know how to show the world.

Gio has other ideas. He moves in like he’s going to save me. He’s done it so many times before, I’ve memorized the determined expression, but I don’t let him. I wave him off.

Gio stops again, midstride, his hands balled into tight fists. He looks antsy, like he’d love nothing more than to pummel Roman into the earth. If he did, he’d only get caught up in Roman’s games too. The fistfight would be online within the hour. Roman would love it.

No, I need to deal with this in a way that makes sense. In a way only Gio and I will benefit. Playing enemies or lovers, it’s always been the same. I’ve always been good enough for Gio.

I make a simple gesture, something only Gio would understand. He cocks his head in confusion. He doesn’t want to do what I’m asking, but in the end, with a little eye-pleading, he complies.

41/

giovanni

I Licked It, So Now It’s Mine

All afternoon, I met with fans for a photo-op event. Typically, they talk to me about recipes they’ve tried and loved, or ones they’d be interested in seeing. Not today. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they asked about Sophia.

“What’s she like?”

A stunning whirlwind, and I can’t get enough.