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“You’d think there’d be something online. It’s not normal,” I say.

“Maybe he . . .” Amelia slices a flat hand across her throat and sticks out her tongue.

“He’s still out there. I can feel it.” I place a hand over my chest and inhale.

“You sure about this plan? Just because you said you’d find each other again doesn’t mean you should. He could be a serial killer by now.” She kicks her feet to cross the pool. “I think you should embrace the rage instead. Make a list of every man who’s wronged you and get back at them. End with Roman for the grand finale. We can woodchip him for mulch to use in my grandma’s rose garden.”

I laugh. “That sounds like your therapy, not mine.”

“Vengeance is the best medicine,” she says.

“I think you’re confusing it with laughter. Laughter is the best medicine.”

“Laughter always comes after vengeance. Everyone knows that.”

“Regardless,” I say, changing course. “I’m not saying anything will happen when I find Adam. Maybe nothing will. But what if my first Prince Charming was my only Prince Charming? That’s what I need to know.” I draw a circle in the water with my big toe.

“While you want Prince Charming, all I want is to live in a dark castle overlooking the water where no man can bother me ever again. That’s a true happy ending,” Amelia says in jest.

“What about Damon?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“He thought he was a vampire.”

“And you think you’re a mermaid. I’m sensing a double standard.”

“I’m the only one allowed to be delulu in the relationship,” she says with a tut.

“Okay then, what about Sven, Marcus, or . . . I know, Barry?” I point at her. “I loved Barry. He was so funny.”

“I loathe funny and the name Barry. Can you imagine me saying, ‘Ravage me, Barry. Ohh, crawl to me, Barry. It’s so big it may not fit, Barry. Be my big bad boy, Barry.’” Amelia blanches.

“Barrys need love, too,” I say.

“Yes, they do, but not from me. Barrys need a Matilda or a Margaret. Or better yet, a Patrick.”

She smiles, then lowers her black cat-eyed sunglasses and returns to her previous notions on Adam.

“Why are you putting yourself through this? Marriage and relationships are the biggest racket on earth. You’re whole and perfect all by yourself.”

“I don’t feel whole. I feel lost.” My feet move beneath the water’s surface. The view is wavy and distorted. That’s how I feel.

“You’re just horny,” Amelia says. “That’s an entirely different issue.”

Because I’m embarrassed that I’ve been secretly hoping Adam would be the perfect fix for that issue since he was the first and only person I’ve ever been with, I kick water in her direction. Amelia lurches away from the splash with a scream.

“You have to be quicker than that to nail a mermaid.” Amelia splashes back and drenches the hem of my dress. We laugh together, and the camaraderie of it feels good. I realize it’s something else I need.

“Minimally, you’d find Adam’s obituary, right?” she asks, returning to her morbid theories.

“Are all mermaids so doom and gloom?” I shake my head.

“Are all wedding-planning heiresses so revenge-y?”

“I never said I was taking revenge on my exes. You did.” I laugh.

“You will. I remember Adam. He was awful. And after you do, you’ll feel better. Revenge always feels better.”

“He wasn’t awful. He was sweet.” I release a drawn-out sigh, remembering how we talked late every night. How he paid attention to me and my dreams. How he cared.