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“And the kid?” Nox asks, rubbing his chest. He knows Alastair knocked her up, and everything we did to her.

“You know who that is. His hair is so curly,” I say, swallowing hard. “There’s no question about it, Nox.”

“I really thought I was going to prove things the other way.”

I reach blindly for my phone, thinking back to the day we went to the cliffs for the one year anniversary of what we thought was her death. Theo practically told us she was alive. He said she didn’t need us.

I’m not angry that they faked her death. We deserve this. Now what the hell do we do with this?

I’m not the same person I was in high school, I’m even more of a mess. I’m not good enough for Noor. But maybe, I can find a way to be better.

Fuck.

Me

We need to talk. I’m going for a run with Nox.

“Grab your shit, we’re going out,” I say, standing. “I need to think, and there’s only one way I can do that.”

“Ugh. Another fucking run?” he groans, standing.

“Your one-night stand will thank me,” I smirk, crossing the house to shove my feet into a pair of shoes. I pretty much live in gym gear these days.

My brother’s favorite pastime isn’t any of my concern, as long as he wraps it up.

“Please don’t be an idiot and use protection,” I add, glancing at him as I grab my headphones and keys.

“I promise not to give you any nieces or nephews any time soon,” he snorts, tying his shoes. “Unlike you.”

I’d tell him that little boy isn’t mine, but I’m too co-dependent. Draven and I have drilled into Alastair’s brain that we lost Noor and her child. We do everything together, even grieve for a little person we didn’t get to meet.

Guess that’s going to change.

“Would anyone miss me if I died…” Noor’s voice comes over my earphones as I lock up and begin to stretch, her therapy appointment from years past hurting my heart.

I'm a masochist. I like to hurt others as much as I enjoy hurting myself. Listening to her on repeat makes me work out harder. My coach has said I hit the ice like a man with demons following him, and I can only smirk because that’s exactly what I am.

Noor, we miss you. Our love is toxic, but maybe we can change that. Please don’t run when we find you.

I didn’t let my brother tell me where she was because I have no self control. He knows her location, and that’s what matters for now.

Whether we go after her today, six months from now, or a year, we have to make sure we don’t fuck it up. We have competition. Whoever that man was carrying her, his tattooed arm clamped around her thighs was possessive.

Sorry, she’s not yours. I may be able to be talked into sharing, but my feet are hitting the pavement to the tune of mine, mine, mine for now.

CHAPTER

THIRTEEN

ALASTAIR

“She’s…excuse me?” I whisper, staring at the screen that tells me that Ciaran is right. His brother is in our kitchen doing something to give us some time to talk. “Her hair, god. Look at her. She looks so happy, Ci.”

“I don’t want to change that,” he says quickly. “This isn’t about revenge or anything like that. If we choose to contact her…”

“We grovel the way we’ve always wanted to but didn’t have the stones or ability to,” Draven adds. “I don’t fucking care what people think now that we’ve made it.” Our team is used to the mind meld shit we pull when we’re together. It comes from how tight we are.

“We keep our noses clean, hockey is set now that we’re all on the same team, and high school is a long time past. I hate that we didn’t tell Alexa to fuck off on Senior Chase Night so we could search for Noor. Is she going by another name? She has to be, right?”