Page 110

“Olivia,” she says simply, the name rolling softly off her tongue. I immediately think back to the night it ended before it had even really begun.

You have a daughter to think of. You’re responsible for another human being, and I’m . . . not ready for that yet.

You have a daughter, and I have dreams.

“If people find out about us, then . . . I don’t want to be the reason you lose her.”

“You won’t be.” I look at her imploringly. “I talked to Brittany and Clark, and I told them about you.”

“What?” She stares at me in disbelief.

My mouth is suddenly dry. I swallow and pray that I’m doing this right. “I told them about you.”

“But why?”

“Because of us. Because I wanted to.”

She pauses briefly. “What did they say?” I can see how overwhelmed she is by all this. I wish I could make it easier for her somehow. But I can’t. I can only be honest.

“At first, they weren’t very enthusiastic. Then they were worried. And in the end, we all cried. But they want me to be happy,” I say. The memory brings a lump to my throat.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“You told them . . . everything?” She looks at me with such disbelief that I want to laugh, as if there was anything funny about the situation.

“Everything,” I confirm. “From the beginning to . . . now.” Her eyebrows shoot up, and now I have to grin. “Well, obviously not everything. I left out a few personal details.”

“But they know who I am?”

“Yes.”

“And they’re okay with that?”

I tilt my head. “I’d be lying if I said they thought it was totally great. But they really want me to be happy. We . . . we also talked a lot about Isabel.” My chest tightens, but the memory of Isabel doesn’t hurt quite as much as it used to. It no longer makes it hard for me to breathe.

“How was that for you?” Lia asks. I feel warm, because she seems to be able to see right through me. I wouldn’t mind if she could.

I exhale. “Good. A little strange. I’ve gotten too used to not talking about her. But with Livy . . .” I shrug. “It can’t be any other way, nor should it be. She’ll never get to know her mother, but she should still know who she was.”

Lia smiles sadly. “I think that’s beautiful.”

“Me too. Listen, I realize that this is all very complicated, because of Olivia and because of your dreams. Because we still don’t know what will happen with Livy, whether she’ll stay with Brittany and Clark or move in with me eventually. I don’t know. We’re not there yet, and I know that makes everything even more complicated than it already is. I also know that you might leave town when you graduate. I don’t want to hold you back, I really don’t. I want all your dreams to come true, because you deserve it.”

Lia lets out a stifled sob, and I instinctively reach for her hand. Our fingers intertwine, and I squeeze hers reassuringly.

“I can’t promise you it will be easy, even though I wish I could,” I continue, my heart pounding so hard that I can feel it in every cell of my body. “But I can promise you that I will do everything I can to make this work for us. If you want it to.”

Her gaze glides over my face, and it feels almost like she’s touching me. She leans forward, her breath brushing my skin, warm and sweet. She pauses just for a moment before her lips touch mine. I have to use all my self-control to stop myself from pulling her in for a kiss.

“I don’t care if it’s the most complicated thing in the world, Phoenix. I want you.”

Chapter 53

Ophelia

When I wake up, it’s still dark outside. It can’t have been more than a few hours since I closed my eyes, even though I was trying to stay awake. But in Phoenix’s arms, it was too difficult. Sleep pulled me down into a gentle darkness where everything was still. Where no thoughts existed. No fear, no doubts. Just me. And him.