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“You’re our innocent little princess, and we love you.” Susannah puts an arm around my waist. “And you love us too, even when we misbehave. For example, when we’re talking about hot new teachers.”

“Well, a little less when you’re talking about hot new teachers.” I make a face and hope that they don’t notice how much Phoenix’s presence at our school has thrown me off balance. “Don’t be mad, but I think I have to go to bed now.” I pull away from her, even though it’s not even ten o’clock. But I have to get out of here, otherwise I’ll go nuts. I can’t listen to them talk about him anymore, and I don’t want to hear how innocent and uptight I am. God, they have no idea.

“Already?” Katie gives me a look of disappointment.

“Yes, I’m jetlagged, and tomorrow’s going to be a long day,” I insist and quickly say goodnight before either of them gets the idea of talking me into staying.

I make my way through the crowd to the exit, past all the little groups of students standing around on the roof terrace and chatting. Cheerful laughter, excited voices. The first day of a new semester, and everyone is looking forward to what’s ahead.

And I . . . I make a huge effort not to lose my composure. It’s just my luck that the only one-night stand I ever had in my life turns out to be with one of my damn teachers.

“Excuse me, can I get past?” I say to Chester, a guy from the junior class, who’s blocking the way to the common room.

“Oh sure, sorry.” He gives me an apologetic smile and steps aside.

“Thanks.” I nod briefly and sigh with relief. The door is just a couple of steps away. Then I notice a petite redhead standing near the door with two other girls.

I recognize her immediately. I talked to Zoe last year on her first day. It was the first and only time we really spoke. The reason we haven’t spent more time together is standing right behind her, his arms wrapped around her slim waist. My little brother, who isn’t little anymore and doesn’t want to be my brother anymore either.

Jase.

The first thing I notice is that his hair is a little longer than it was before vacation, as if he didn’t bother to go to the hairdresser during the break. He’s just as blond as I am and has the same green eyes, the same-shaped face, just not as soft as mine, with a more pronounced jawline. Still, the resemblance between us is unmistakable.

The only person who looked even more like him than I do was Sam.

Sam.

There’s a lump in my throat, and all at once my eyes water, because when I see Jase, I think of Sam. Together, they were a mystery I could never solve. They were always Sam and Jase. And I was always just Lia.

Two together and one alone.

My chest burns, and I have to look away quickly, before the memories about how normal everything was when Sam was alive catch up with me. And how terrible everything became after he died. But I can’t look away. I haven’t seen Jase like this in ages. Relaxed. At ease. Happy.

Zoe and her family have apparently achieved what our parents repeatedly failed to do since Sam died. They helped Jase heal the cracks in his heart. Not completely, but enough that the anger that used to surround him like a cloud is now barely noticeable.

He turns to look at me, as if he senses my gaze. His smile fades, and I wish I could see it again. I wish he would smile at me like that, but it won’t happen. Actually, it’s better like this, because I wouldn’t be able to deal with it anyway, and I certainly don’t deserve it. Not after the way I’ve treated him over the last few years.

Jase’s eyes meet mine, hard and cold, and now the familiar anger resurfaces. It’s not directed at the whole world anymore, just at me. We’ve barely spoken a word to each other in the last nine months, and that hasn’t helped. There are too many reasons for his anger, and every single one of them is justified.

I turn away quickly—I need to get out of here.

I step through the French door into the common room and hurry back to my room. The music from the roof terrace follows me, even after I’ve closed the door behind me. It’s low and muted, but I still hear it.

I’m totally exhausted, and part of me just wants to crawl under the blankets and close my eyes, but the other is much too agitated to sleep.

My whole body is trembling, and my heart is beating too fast. I’m losing control of myself. This whole day has been too much, but I can’t go to sleep yet. If I do, my thoughts will devour me. Thoughts of Phoenix and Jase and Mom and Dad and Sam. One catastrophe after another.

How could everything go so wrong so fast? How could one day change everything?

But really, nothing has changed.

Except for Phoenix.

I don’t think as I grab my dance bag and head for the practice building. I’m a mess, and there’s only one way to soothe the storm inside of me.

Chapter 9

Lia