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She goes to the sink and rinses her mouth without looking at me. She doesn’t say a word. There’s no denying what she just did.
I feel sick as I watch her. She’s lost weight, it’s obvious. Her legs are even thinner than at the beginning of the semester, like matchsticks that would snap under a little too much pressure. Everything about her is thinner and more fragile. Her face is narrower and more angular, her cheeks sunken. It’s not the first time I’ve noticed this, but I thought the dark shadows under her eyes were due to stress, to the pressure of the big performance. She’s been eating. Every day, morning, noon, and evening. I’ve seen her. But apparently that doesn’t mean she’s okay.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be over with the others?” She wipes her mouth, still bent over the sink, her gaze fixed on the white porcelain.
“I was still practicing,” I say.
She snorts and rolls her eyes. I can see it in the mirror. “Of course you were. You never take a break, do you?”
I ignore her question. After all, we both know the answer. “What are you doing here, Susannah?” I ask instead, even though it’s completely obvious.
“The same as you. Practicing.” She gives me a fake smile.
“You know what I mean. What was that just now?”
“Nothing at all.” She turns off the water and finally turns to face me.
“It didn’t sound like nothing.”
She rolls her eyes again. “I felt sick, that’s all. I ate too much tonight, and then coming over here and practicing was obviously not a good idea. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
I don’t want to ask, I really don’t, but I can’t help it. “Do you do this often?” My voice trembles, and now I feel sick too.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She tries to grab her bag and push past me, but I block her way.
“Susannah, please, talk to me.”
She groans in annoyance. “About what? Nothing happened.”
“You’ve lost weight.”
“Yes, so what?”
“And you threw up.”
“Are you implying that I did that on purpose?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m just worried about you.”
“No need.” Once again, she tries to push past me, and once again, I don’t let her.
I should let her go and not pressure her, right? I don’t know how to react. Damn it, how do you react in a situation like this? Can I get involved? Should I? Do I have to? Do I want to? My head is spinning. All I know is that what she’s doing is unhealthy, and she needs help.
“Really? Susannah, if you have a problem, talk to someone. You don’t have to talk to me, but—”
She interrupts me sharply. “I don’t have a problem, got it? I’m fine. I have everything under control. I don’t need to talk to anyone. Now get out of my way.”
“Susannah—”
“Leave me alone, Lia,” she hisses, then simply shoves past me and walks away. I stare after her, my hands sweating. I want to reach out and stop her, and there’s a nagging feeling of fear in my stomach.
Chapter 36
Phoenix
“What the hell are you doing here?” I stare at my brother grimly, and for a moment, I’m tempted to slam the door in his face.
“Nice to see you too,” Brooklyn says sarcastically. He pushes me aside and enters my apartment without waiting for me to invite him inside. He’s wearing a suit, which means he was at the office even though it’s Sunday. But that must be how it is when you work at the most successful law firm in town. He’s my total opposite. His styled ash-blond hair, his gray eyes, and the innate self-confidence that exudes from every pore, not to mention the perfectly fitting suit that probably cost as much as my monthly rent.