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I glance up. Maverick is standing in front of me, a curious expression on his face. “Just notes. Verses that catch my attention and what I take from them.” I turn the notebook around so he can read what I’ve written. “I’m that girl who loves to take notes in church,” I say with a smile. “I’ve always been an excellent note taker.”
His gaze travels over the page, and I fight the urge to snatch the book back and hide it away. I’ve never been overly shy before, but letting Maverick see this, especially right now, feels an awful lot like opening myself up in ways I don’t know if I’m ready for.
Except, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m supposed to share it with him. That it’s safe to open up and let him in.
“Hmm.” He returns to the stove to stir what’s in the pot, so I turn my notebook back toward me.
“Did you ever go to church?” I ask.
“No.”
“Really?”
He shakes his head, then turns to lean back against the counter beside the stove. “Was never a thing we did.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
It makes me sad to know that he was never taken to church, but it also explains his earlier question. “Earlier, you asked me how I could believe in God after what I went through.” I put both hands into the front pocket of my hoodie. “I’m alive because of God.”
“Then why didn’t He keep you from suffering?”
I consider his question. Not because I don’t know the answer, but because I want to make sure I word it correctly. “God granted us free will. He is not responsible for the twisted actions of people. And believing in Him, knowing what Jesus Christ did to save us from our sins, doesn’t mean we’ll never suffer.”
“Why? If He loves you as much as you believe He does, then why allow you to be in pain? Why allow innocent people to suffer?”
“We can’t always see God’s plan, but He can work everything for good. And if my suffering can be used to bring more people to Him, then I would go through it again and again. Because my end goal isn’t prosperity and peace in this life. It’s what’s been promised to me after.”
“I just can’t wrap my mind around that.”
“It’s a tough one at times,” I admit with a half-smile. “But I know that I wasn’t truly alone down there. Just as much as I know, I’ll carry the scars of what happened to me for the rest of my life.”
A darkness crosses over his expression. Is it because he’s remembering the scar on my stomach? Or is it his own past that haunts him?
“Everything is connected,” I tell him as I turn to Hebrews chapter eleven, verse three. “‘By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen. It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed His approval of his gifts. Although Able is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith.’”
“Cain and Abel, the brothers? Didn’t one of them kill the other?”
I nod. “Cain murdered Abel out of jealousy after God accepted Abel and his gift, but not Cain’s.”
“Why?”
“The Bible doesn’t say, though the study notes in my old Bible suggested that it was due to Cain’s motives. God knows our hearts; He can see what our true motives are behind the mask we show the rest of the world.”
“Hmmm.” He turns back to the stove, but I keep going, desperate to share my faith with this man who stepped up and saved me when I had nothing else to give.
“‘It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—‘he disappeared, because God took him.’ For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God. And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him.’”
“So the guy just disappeared?”
I hide my smile at his clear interest. “He did.”
“Hmmm,” he repeats.
As he starts plating spaghetti, I continue. “‘It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith, Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by faith.’” When Maverick doesn’t ask anything, I keep going. “‘It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise.’”
“Who are Isaac and Jacob?” Maverick sets two plates down, one in front of me and one right to the left of me.