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I had been doing some armchair psychology on myself, and I thought that had a lot to do with my past relationships. It had been much easier to ignore my wants or needs when I was completely preoccupied with the wants and needs of those around me. Simultaneously paralyzed by indecision because of doubting my ability to make good choices and afraid of what would happen if I made the wrong one.

A small display table featuring thick books with vibrant colors caught my eye. It was the latest in a very popular romantasy series—probably the one Elizabeth had been talking about. Picking up the first book in the series, I was surprised by how heavy it was. Not bothering to read the blurb, I headed for the register. It would be a present for her, for bringing a bit of light and laughter back into my life.

An hour later, I had accumulated more than one bag—a little fruit tart from a local bakery that called to me from the window, plus some soft yarn that was a blend of colors, with hints of red and gold.

On the drive home, a wave of anxiety washed through me. What am I doing? I didn’t have a way to reach Beth, and I didn’t even know which house was hers if I wanted to stop by. Turning the car off, I stayed buckled in, my eyes drifting to the bags sitting on my passenger seat.

Excitement from earlier quickly started bubbling away, morphing into a mix of disappointment and embarrassment. Taking my phone out, I hesitated before pulling up the call history. There was only one unknown number on the list, and it was the one I had used to call Eliot, Beth’s son.

“Stop being such a coward! What is he gonna do on the phone? Hang up?” I tried to talk myself down as my thumb hovered over the call button. To my dismay, my hand started to tremble from nerves, and I wound up dialing the number, whether I was ready to or not.

Quickly putting the phone up to my ear, the second ring barely finished before he picked up.

“Lilah.” Not a question. Not a greeting. Just a statement. The fact that he remembered my name and number didn’t mean anything.

“Uh, hi! I’m sorry to call you like this.” I paused to steady myself, not liking the wobble in my voice.

“Are you hurt?” His voice became louder, concerned, and that stopped me. When was the last time anyone cared about my well-being?

“No! No, I’m not hurt. I’m fine. I was wondering if I could have your mom’s number? As long as she’s comfortable with that. If she doesn’t want to see me, that’s also totally fine. I just have a small gift I want to give her. For helping with my garden and all.” I was rambling. Why can’t I stop talking? Silence weighed on the other end, daunting and pronounced.

“You bought my mom a present?” he asked, sounding slightly bewildered.

“Yes. Well, when she was here, she told me about a book she wanted to read, and I happened to see it when I was in the store earlier. I haven’t read it yet, but she seemed excited about it.”

“So you bought my mom smut?” he asked. I froze.

“I—what—I don’t know if that’s technically what this is.” I fumbled to grab the book. Maybe I should have read the description?

“She’s been talking about that popular series for weeks now. I thought she was just busting my balls, trying to see if I would actually pick them up for her. I didn’t realize she genuinely wanted to read it,” he replied.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe a bit of both? She did mention a secret stash of harlequins she keeps hidden from you.”

“Of course she does. And I bet I know just who helped her get them. Anyway, I’ll text you her number, but you’re better off calling her.” There was a pause before he cleared his throat. “She has early onset dementia. Right now, her good days outweigh the bad ones, but there’s a chance she won’t remember talking to you, or not right away. I just want to give you a heads up.” My heart melted a little. It had to be hard to see a parent declining that way.

“I’m so sorry she’s going through that. And I’m sorry for you, too. How are you doing? I mean…Sorry. You don’t know me, but I can imagine it’s not easy to see your mom like that. She made it clear how close you guys are.”

“You worried about me, Angel?” he asked, his voice lowering, something soft in it. I slapped my forehead. What is it about Eliot that makes me lose all control of my thoughts and speech?

“I just…I’m sure you get asked about how she’s doing a lot. Not sure you get asked how you’re doing, too.” In the enclosed space of my car, the night sky blanketed the bright lights of the lit buildings in the distance. It made the conversation feel intimate, his growly voice echoing in my ears.

“Right now, I’m okay. Bordering on good. But in the future, I might take you up on that. I’ll text you Ma’s number after this. Make sure you save my number, too. Let me know when you’re gonna stop by.” He spoke swiftly, but it didn’t lessen the command in his tone.

“Alright.” I replied softly instead of asking any more questions.

“You need anything, you call me. Understand?” he repeated, and I frowned.

“You there?” He paused as I tried to wrangle a response out of my brain. “Lilah!” he snapped, and I replied.

“I’m here. Sorry. I just…I don’t understand, I guess. Call you…Like, if anything happens with your mom?”

“No. You. I want to know if you, Lilah, need anything. If you need help, or you are hurt, you call me. No matter the time or place.” He stated everything clearly, and a chill skittered down my spine.

“Why?” I asked again. Shut the fuck up, Lilah. Don’t make this more awkward than it already is.

“Because. I care. I want to know that you’re okay. That you’re safe. We clear now?” Voices in the background caught my attention, so I nodded before realizing he couldn’t see me.

“Sure. Thanks again. I’ll let you know when I’m going to stop by Beth’s. Have a good night, Eliot.” I rushed out, infusing my voice with a casualness I didn’t feel.