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Vague memories of an older nurse on shift floated through my memories. Eyes that saw too much, her attention unwavering as we rattled off our rehearsed explanations. Ma was nervous, afraid they would call the cops or CPS, but the woman didn’t say a thing. No prying questions or pushy demands.

There were no pamphlets for women’s shelters and DV resources handed out like it was the cure to our problems, as if reading about our shitty situation was a golden ticket out of it. The nurse didn’t try any of it. That stood out far more than the actual visit. When I was finally discharged, dressed in my ratty clothes, my arm in a sling, she stopped by one last time.

“When you’re ready, they can help. Ask for Cece,” the nurse said as she slipped a small piece of paper to Mom. The exact timeline in between that visit and Reaper showing up at our house was unclear. All I knew was that something had shifted in Mom. She found the strength to ask for help. If she had waited any longer, it would have been too late.

As it was, neither of us escaped without permanent damage. Even then, twenty years later, all I could hear was my father’s voice.

“You’ll be ten times worse.”

Is he right? When I came in that day, I wanted to kill him. If I had been bigger, stronger, I might have. Considering everything I’d done since then, I started to believe he was right.

“I want to touch you.” Lilah’s voice, husky with need, pierced me.

Fuck. I wanted her so bad. But I didn’t want to ruin the best thing to ever happen to me. Didn’t want to dirty my angel, stain her soul the way mine was. She fell asleep in my arms, but her words floated around in my head, as did the long-buried memories of my childhood. I wanted more, though, and I thought I was finally ready.

I planned a trip to New York for a long weekend, a list of sights picked out specifically for Lilah. More than once, my girl had mentioned how much she loved Manhattan, the different exhibits she wanted to see, and galleries that had opened. Lilah never took time just for herself, so I was determined to make sure we went everywhere she desired. The hotel was five stars. I wanted it to be a romantic weekend. I wanted the opportunity to pamper her.

“This is amazing! I’ve never stayed here, but I’ve heard about it,” she exclaimed as we got to the suite.

After the long ride, we both crashed. The large bed was covered in pillows and blankets. I was not sure why we needed that many especially since all I wanted near me was her. Stripping down to my boxers, I climbed in. Lilah’s breathing was already slowing as she curled up under the covers.

Once I finally managed to get under the sheets, I pulled her body against mine. Her ass pressed against me. Knowing she was secure in my arms, I drifted off. It was the best night’s sleep I’d gotten in ages.

We woke up early the next morning, Lilah pulling the blinds back to see the view of Central Park. I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“This view is insane. I can’t believe we’re so close to the park,” she murmured, tilting her head to the side in the way that meant she wanted me to keep going. I happily obliged.

“Thought we might grab coffee and walk though the park. Make our way over to the museums.” Lilah whirled around in my arms, pushing to her tiptoes to kiss me.

“That sounds perfect.”

And the day was perfect. The crisp autumn air was refreshing as we walked hand in hand through the park. Leaves painted the trees and ground in shades of orange and yellow, and the paths were already alive with runners, dog walkers, and families. We wandered lazily, aimlessly, never in a rush as I made sure we passed landmarks I thought Lilah would appreciate.

“Oh! I’ve only seen it in pictures. I’ve never actually made it here in person!” Lilah exclaimed as we came upon the Alice in Wonderland statue.

Kids scrambled all over it, the bronze glowing in the morning light, giving it an almost otherworldly feel. Lilah snapped a few photos before asking someone to take one of us together.

“My turn!” she said once she was satisfied.

“What’s that?” I asked, pulling her into my arms for a kiss.

“I have something I want to show you. Let me just check the map once more.”

Something inside me froze. She planned something for me? When has anyone gone out of their way to include me? The trip was supposed to be for her, but Lilah was making it ours.

Fuck. I was totally in love with that woman.

She pulled me along like a wayward puppy, unaware of the storm she’d set off inside me. We wound through the park’s paths, passing Bethesda Terrace and the Angel of the Waters fountain standing proudly at its center, but Lilah didn’t stop.

Up the stairs, under bridges, sidestepping horse-drawn carriages, until finally, she slowed.

“Over there!”

She glanced at her phone once more, then tucked it away and grabbed my hand. I followed, bemused, her smile contagious. Her hair caught the sunlight, and the blue in her eyes was sparkling brighter than anything we had passed.

We stepped onto a tree-lined promenade. One by one, statues emerged, and as we slowed near the first, my heart began to race. William Shakespeare.

“This is the Literary Walk. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find it!” Lilah bounced beside me, barely containing her excitement.