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“Oh Blake,” I turn back to face him. “This is amaz—”

The words catch in my throat when I see the look on his face, his eyes glazed and far away.

I step closer to him. “You okay?”

“Sorry. It’s this place. I hated it.”

Hated it? Then why do you want us to live here? I want to scream.

But this is the first time that Blake has ever come close to sharing his past with me. And I want to know.

So instead of screaming, I lower my voice. “What happened?”

I reach out and touch his cheek, and our eyes meet.

And for a second I see it all, all the pain and anger and fear and hate. And I don’t need him to say a word to know that it was awful.

He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “They were drunks. Both of them.”

Ah.

“And they fought. That was their favorite pastime. They loved to insult each other and blame each other and throw things at each other. And when they got bored of that, they’d turn on us kids. After the age of seven, I only came in the house to sleep. I’d hide out at Wyatt’s at first, but eventually they figured it out, and he was right next door, so they’d come looking for me. Later, I started hiding out at Ethan’s.”

So that’s the big trauma that bonded them? That’s the huge favor that Blake is forever trying to pay back, the fact that Ethan let Blake hide out at his house to avoid getting beaten at home, like it was some huge burden?

I always think that there is no way that I could possibly dislike Ethan more, but every time he stoops to a new low. He’s always using his friendship with Blake to manipulate him. Just last week when Charlotte broke up with him, he forced Blake to spend the entire weekend with him.

But Blake isn’t done. “Then my mom died when I was twelve. Liver problems. And then my father only had us to yell at. It became unbearable. And he blamed us for our mother’s death. He was always depressed and took it out on us.”

“Blake.” I don’t know what to say.

“And then he killed himself.”

I give the living room a glance. And I must look panicked, because Blake adds, “He crashed his car. On Bryce’s fifteenth birthday. That’s why Brody always goes away on that day.”

“You were only kids. Did you live on your own?”

“I was eighteen and Brody twenty-one. We all took jobs, and we managed somehow. Though the house started to slowly fall apart around us. And when we did start making more money, we all agreed to let the place rot.”

“But you changed your mind?” I rub the back of his head.

"For over twenty years, I thought I was doomed to follow in my parents’ footsteps. I rejected the woman I loved and offered her to my best friend because I was convinced that I would be a terrible husband, or worse, a terrible father, and she would be better off without me.”

“Do you regret the time we lost?”

He kisses me gently on the lips. “That’s the thing, though. Of course I think I made a mistake. And yet that mistake has brought Chase into our lives. So how could I possibly regret it?”

My chest contracts. I’ve been having those same thoughts about my marriage with Ethan. Every time I berate myself for wasting my time on him, I remind myself that he’s the reason that I have Chase. But it’s more than that too. He’s the reason that Scarlett and I are so close. And Penny. And if I keep going down that road, I can think of a hundred things that I love in my life today that I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t gone down the path that I took. The agency.

“I know. I guess regretting is a waste of time. We’re happy. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Yes, we’re happy. And we’re in control. I don’t ever want to let my parents, or my past, dictate what I do in the future. They already stole enough of my time. There’s no point in looking back. I want to start living my life the way that I choose. And I want to give this house a second chance. I want to fix it and give it a better life. To erase its pain, and with it, some of mine.”

Blake

Amelia melts into my body. “I love that.”

“Do you like the house? Because I want you to have the house of your dreams. And I want you to make all the decisions when it comes to the renovation.”