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He watches as I adjust my tunic, trying to hide the evidence of my own desire for him. I force my face to become emotionless and my hands to stop their trembling.

His eyes catch it all, as I knew they would. He arches his hips and hides his beautiful cock from me, zipping himself up with an angry yank of his wrist.

I can see the flutter on his fingers, talking to himself. I do not know what he is signing, but I can feel his fury.

He regrets this. He regrets succumbing to me.

And I hate myself for giving him hope, for taking, once more, what I cannot have, knowing that I would have to hurt him again.

He pushes himself up and takes several steps forward until his chest brushes past my own. I can scent myself on him, and it makes me almost reach out and pull him into me.

But he is still angry. I can feel his swirling thoughts, unchecked and unaware that I am listening in. He feels rejected, tossed aside, and worthless.

I loathe that he thinks he is not worth a thousand worlds. I loathe myself for making him feel this way, but I have no choice, and I don’t know how to explain to him the terms of my punishment and what it would be risking if I gave in.

This moment here has placed us both in danger, and he has no idea how bad things could go if Jyrion caught even a whisper that I was enamored with another human. He would ruin Luca far worse than they ruined Kori, and I would not be able to live with myself.

I would take his broken heart over watching him die.

So, I stand there and watch as he holds his middle finger up—a silly human gesture but it stings all the same—without even turning to look at me as he disappears back into that small, human house.

The taste of Luca lingers on my tongue long after I feasted on him. I try to remove it, but it is there, just at the back of my throat, leaving me humming with need and desire.

I think of him far too often.

The weeks pass at my lake house where I am sequestered, but it is no use. He has seared himself onto my soul, and I cannot be free of him.

I use my human phone to look him up online, my fingers finding my slit and pressing inside just at the sight of him. If he only knew what he does to me. And how much I wish it could be different.

He wouldn’t hate me then.

He would pity me.

I have been a broken, pathetic Vyastil for far too long, and there is no changing that now.

I know I can’t keep wallowing at the lake house. As much as I may never get over the wonder of seeing so much water on the surface of their world, it’s not doing me any good to sit and stare out at the horizon. There’s little for me to do, of course, now that the council is at recess and my job as liaison keeps me with the humans.

It’s easy enough to get in my car and make my way back to town. There is still much to be done, and with my breeding time coming up, I need to discuss a few things with Rathyn. He and Everest are still playing their part every time they visit Erethar, and their visits have been growing in length on Jyrion’s orders.

I feel a measure of guilt for that as well. I did not fertilize the egg Rathyn hatched from, but I reared him as my own, and I feel responsible for him. Rebellion is dangerous, and many Vyastil will likely die if there is a full uprising.

Rathyn and the other Vyastil—the one I raised who no longer speaks to me unless he has to—are the only two I truly care about. But I cannot let myself be weakened by my need to protect them. It’s the same reason I cannot give in to Luca.

The heavy thoughts plague me as I park at the Foundry and make my way to Rathyn’s floor, but as I approach the door, I catch a heavy whiff of human cum. With their moans echoing down the hallway, I realize they’re deep in a session, likely with ruenox, which means it will be hours before they’re done.

I turn to leave as quickly as I can. I cannot allow myself to be tempted by the scent of human cum. It makes me think of one human, and one human only, and Luca is a sharp reminder of my own failures.

The cool air outside allows me to breathe deeply, but it’s too late. The knowledge of what Rathyn and Everest are doing has allowed my mind to wander too far—toward Luca. Toward the human who is my…well, I’m not allowing myself to give it the word this connection deserves.

I can feel him, though, buried deep within me.

Every time I am tempted by him, every time I allow myself to collapse and break, I find that his presence in my mind grows even stronger.

I can hear him calling to me now. He is thinking of me. My Luca. My clawed toes curl into the cold pavement beneath me, and I wrap my tail tightly around my thigh.

I cannot go to him.

I cannot.