Page 33

“You look terrible, girl.”

Thanks so much, love you too. I have realised that she is telling me I look awful, a lot recently. Should I be worried?

God, what is Julian Thorne doing to me?

“I do not. I am fine,” I declare, adjusting the sleeves of my knit.

“You’re doing the thing where you say fine, but you mean something completely different.”

I am. But acknowledging it means admitting to how fragile the façade is today. Maddie knows me too well for me to get away with this act.

“I am not,” I state, stubbornly.

“Ellise.” She nudges my shoulder with hers, a casual, affectionate gesture which sends a sharp pain through my collarbone. It hurts more than I care to admit. “How long have you been hiding out here, girl?”

There is no point trying to argue with her; she can read me like an open book. She knows when something is wrong, and she knows exactly what I look like when I’m wallowing.

“An hour,” I admit softly.

“Why the hell have you been here for an hour?”

Because I am hopelessly stuck inside my own head again. I stare down at my hands.

“He said I was disconnected,” I whisper.

“Who said that?” Maddie asks, her eyes narrowing.

“Julian. He said I was disconnected, and that I was choking the violin.”

Maddie pauses, absorbing the blow.

“Was he right?”

She doesn’t say it to be mean. Ever the realist, Maddie knows that at Belrose, you can’t sugar coat the truth.

I look at her. She looks back without flinching, her expression entirely open, waiting for the truth.

“Yes,” I admit. “He was right.”

I absolutely loathe the fact that he was right.

Maddie says nothing, letting the confession breathe.

“I told him about my hypermobility.” I blurt out suddenly. “I just… told him. I don’t even know why.”

Maddie’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine shock.

“What did he say?”

“He asked if that was why I played so stiffly.”

Maddie lets out a sharp huff of air. “He really is the biggest prick. He’s irritatingly hot. But, he’s such a prick.”

“But he’s right, Mad. That’s the worst part. Practice is an absolute nightmare. He is completely insufferable… and he’s in my head.”

“Listen to me, El.” Maddie turns to face me. “Julian Thorne is an arrogant asshole who plays for attention. He looks for the flaws in everyone because it’s the only way he knows how to feel superior.”

“He found mine,” I declare quickly.