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She pushed open the door into the warren and watched white tail after white tail disappear into the small mud structures. Jon pulled the door shut behind them, and just stood there, looking at her. Her heart caught in her throat. She felt herself flush at the intensity of his stare. His eyes seemed to smoulder at her.
‘Sereh, do you remember how you came to leave your cloak behind?’
Of all the things he could have said, she’d not expected that.
‘Um, no, I don’t. Why?’
‘Do you remember how you came to be within run-ketill?’
Again, his abrupt question made her answer truthfully. ‘No, I don’t remember that either. I think there was an avalanche, and after that it all gets a bit unclear. I assumed you found me, or I found you. Why? Is it important?’ She hoped it wasn’t.
‘I wondered, that was all. You’ve been acting a little oddly for the last few days.’ His tone was mild.
‘Oddly, what do you mean? What have I been doing?’ She felt sudden anger at his strange questions. This wasn’t what she’d thought he meant when he’d invited her to the warrens. Perhaps, after all, he didn’t feel attracted to her, as she did him. Embarrassment flashed through her body, leaving her cold, whereas moments before she was too hot.
Jon assessed her for a moment longer, and then his face cleared, and a smile touched his cheeks.
‘Nothing too bad. You just… left your cloak here and didn’t seem to remember doing it. There’ve been a few things with Pal, too. It’s almost as if you know him.’
She opened her mouth but shut it just as quickly. Her thoughts suddenly confused. How had she found the caves? And she did know Pal. Didn’t they know that?
She was unsure what to say. She sensed Jon knew something she didn’t. Once more, she strained to remember the past week but certain events stayed tantalisingly out of reach. The more she tried to grasp the memories the more thoroughly they evaded her. Was it just the last week she couldn’t remember, or longer than that? She recalled Rankil. She recalled the First Day, and what she’d done that day. After that, there was just a strange haze. And then there was Pal, Emma, Elen, Gunnar, Finn, Brand. And Jon.
While she mused, watching the hares who’d been brave enough to return to their foraging, she sensed Jon step closer, and immediately she felt the warmth of his proximity once more. His questions might have unsettled her, but his presence, so close to her, overrode that. Hesitantly, he reached out his hand to take hers, paused momentarily, and then enclosed her hand with his. His touch scorched where it made contact with her suddenly too-hot skin. She looked up into his face and was unable to turn away from his deep grey eyes. He appeared as mesmerised as her, a smile playing on his lips, as he stepped even closer. She licked her lips nervously. She’d never been kissed or given a kiss before.
Jon leaned in closer and ducked his head to be on a level with hers. With his free hand, he reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. His touch again left what felt like a burn mark on her face. Subconsciously, she reached up to feel her face in the wake of his trailing touch. He hesitated briefly and then leaned in, so his lips touched hers, lightly.
Her heart pounded in an irregular rhythm. Her entire body suffused with a deep warmth, spreading slowly from her lips to her toes. It was exquisite and brief. His lips were soft as freshly fallen snow. Almost as quickly as it started it was over. He backed away from her, eyes flooded with confusion.
He whispered something. She didn’t quite catch it. Had he truly said, ‘This is wrong.’
Without thinking, she reached out to pull him close, to kiss him again, to feel the heat of his body pressed against hers. But he was no longer there, gone in a few short strides, to the far end of the half open cavern.
She felt bereft. What had she done? Not trusting her voice, she walked slowly to him, drawn to be next to him, reaching out to take his hand. He offered no resistance. She thought that a victory, even as she waited for him to say, or hopefully, do more, like kissing her once more.
They stood motionless for a long moment. She felt his heat warm her hand as they gazed at the view before them. She wanted to speak but feared breaking the stillness. Perhaps he didn’t want this? Maybe he was trying to find the right words. She decided not to pre-empt them. Better to have this moment. For what it was.
They remained frozen in place for such a long time she heard the gentle hopping of the hares and even felt one run over her feet. She’d have laughed out loud if she’d not feared breaking the mood and bringing Jon back to the here and now, with her. She wanted him desperately. Her need to kiss him once more left her almost breathless with anticipation. She wanted to know he wanted her. But, was it possible he didn’t? She hadn’t imagined it. She’d felt his need in his touch, in his kiss, in the way it seemed to pain him to walk away from her. But still, a dark, insidious fear gnawed at her insides. What if he didn’t want her? What would she do then? It would be impossible to live side by side with him and not be able to touch him. Not after their kiss.
Finally, Jon sighed and turned to look at her, releasing his hand from her grip.
She felt the loss, and her heart beat even louder. She was sure he must be able to hear. This was it. He’d repeat his earlier words, and one kiss was all she’d ever receive.
Instead, using both hands, he cupped her face, his heat suffusing her body once more as he brought his lips back to hers. The incandescence of the kiss was overpowering, so deep she felt as though they merged to become one person.
Her hands rose and entangled in his hair, dragging him closer. Their breath became ragged. They were panting when they finally drew apart. He gazed long and hard into her eyes. Whatever he found there, satisfied him. He drew her close once more, kissing her more and more insistently. In what had felt like only an instant, the diluted Long Day colours drained from the sky. A chill wind blew up, making her shiver, despite his heat, and still they clung to each other.
Finally, Jon stepped away from her, emitting a remorseful sigh as he did so, and draped her cloak over her shoulders to still her shaking from the cold and the exhilaration of being with him. He took her hand to lead her away, but she pulled him back. They kissed more and more as the night turned cobalt and then black and the bright stars appeared, alongside Gemini. Still, they stayed wrapped in one another’s arms.
Only when the door to the warren was pushed roughly aside did Jon spring away from her, with a guilty look on his face which she didn’t understand.
Finn stood in the half-light, backlit by the orange lamps from the passageway. His gaze switched between her and Jon. She couldn’t see his expression, because it was half in shadows.
‘Pal’s awake and being difficult. Emma sent me to find Sereh.’ His words sounded defensive, and Sereh wondered for the first time at the relationship between Finn and Jon. Were they related, as Jon was to Emma?
‘If Pal needs me, I’ll come,’ she announced, stepping forward, but Jon grabbed her hand and held her back, his grip tight, but not uncomfortably.
‘We’ll come shortly, Finn. Thank you for finding us.’